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Monday, May 16, 2005
Why Dawn has to learn to drive manual transmission in two days

Ok, well, maybe not for the first time we see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, because I want to get the full experience of it. Perhaps, though, after the 20th viewing (which should set us to the weekend sometime, and it's Victoria Day Weekend - 3 Day Weekend - WooHoo!), I want to do what we used to do time and again in university, mostly just to piss off all the Picard wannabes who thought Star Trek would overtake Star Wars as THE standard of science fiction. 10 years later, Star Trek has finally died it's death, and we have so much hype over Star Wars it's no longer funny.

Anyhow, how we pissed off the Picardabe's.

THE STAR WARS DRINKING GAME

The game begins right as "20th Century Fox" appears on the screen.

Once the game has begun, you watch the movie for the listed events. Every time one of them occurs, everybody takes a sip of their drink.

Drink when:

* Someone has a bad feeling about this.
* It's their only hope.
* An entire planet is described as having one climate.
* Somebody gets choked.
* a woman other than Leia is on screen
* An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force. (Vader counts.)
* Somebody's hand gets cut off.
* A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast.
* There is a tremor in the Force.
* It's not someone's fault.
* One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing.
* A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks.
* Someone exclaims "No!".
* Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea.

* Twice if it's not Han.
* Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies--it counts if they change at the end.
* Someone is mind-controlled using the Force.
* People kiss.
* A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black.
* Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for uniforms, only the first person on screen counts).
* Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray.
* Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen.
* An elaborately made up alien has no lines.

* Someone or something tries to get money from Han.
* Some ship crashes into something after being hit.
* Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber).

* An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the Death Star exploded, killing billions of people. (Fourteen seconds. Count 'em.)
* It is Luke's destiny.
* Luke whines.

* Luke discovers a long-lost relative.
* Luke fights monsters or savages.
* Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip.
* Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm.
* Luke is upside-down.
* Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time.
* Twice if they speak to each other.
* Luke's parentage is foreshadowed.
* Luke refuses to take someone's advice.
* Luke yells "Artooooo!".
* Leia insults somebody.
* Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
* Twice if it covers her neck.
* Three times if she's almost totally nude.
* Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance.
* Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective. ("...Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.")

* Han brags about the Millenium Falcon.
* Anybody insults the Millenium Falcon.
* Something doesn't work on the Falcon
* Twice if it's the hyperdrive.
* Yoda uses bad grammar.
* Yoda talks like a fortune cookie.
* R2-D2 gets thrashed.
* R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around.
* C-3PO loses a body part. (Take two drinks if he is completely dismembered.)
* C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he's familiar with.

* A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white.
* Twice if they're non human (co-pilots count)
* A Rebel Pilot says "Nice Shot..."
* A Rebel Pilot says "I've been hit..."
* Tarkin brags about the Death Star.
* The Emperor cackles evilly.
* The Emperor has foreseen something.
* Vader runs into one of his kids and doesn't recognize them.
* Twice if he tries to kill them.
* Boba Fett talks.
* Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they're aiming.
* Stormtrooper armor proves useless.
* Any Imperial Ship is destroyed.
* A TIE fighter explodes for no reason.


Well, for Revenge of the Sith, obviously some of these don't count, so I've bolded the ones I think apply to Episode III (but for all you geeks worse than me, yes, we may see Leia nude in this one, which is like three drinks in this game), though we should add something, so that when Revenge of the Sith comes out on DVD, we can do a marathon 6-episode drinking game.

Damn, I wish I was back in university for this. I can't afford to drink so much anymore. That and I wish Dawn could drive stick (well, she can, but we won't go there).

Special thanks to Josh for archiving a good old game.
neolithic pondered at 20:21
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