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Friday, June 10, 2005
Yellow Card plus Implement of the Week

Well to start things off, let's actually talk about something positive. The greatest food ever.

Funnel cake. Mmmm... nectar of the gods. Better than pasta. Better than my beloved Montreal smoked meat. Better than poutine. And most of all, better than OREO BLIZZARDS from Dairy Queen. Whoever invented this nectar of the Gods, my friend, you are a genius. It is a damn shame that Canada's Wonderland is the only place I know of that consitantly has it on menu. Even more a shame, as the price is $6.99 per plate there, that I can't have an experiment proving that life can be sustained for a week eating nothing but funnel cake. And to answer your question, yes, in university, about 12 years ago, your 'umble writer undertook that very same assingment, but with Oreo Blizzards.

But, alas, what does a wonderful food with funnel cake have to do with a yellow card or implement of the week? Well, to start off, my beloved Yorkshire Angel and I went to said amusement park for possibly the last time today, as A Golden WorldTM may be off to not quite so sunny Vancouver next week, and we decided to take our fill of rides. And had some funnel cake as a bit of a snack, with only 1 hour left. Fair enough. There was a considerable queue to get a funnel cake (longer than some rides), which is fair enough, except the girl, who was at the till, had major problems figuring out which button to push. Not that the menu is that long. Funnel cake with Icing sugar. Funnel cake with Ice Cream. Funnel Cake with Strawberries. Funnel cake with Ice Cream and Strawberries. The latter three also all come with icing sugar. Regardless, only four buttons to worry about. But for ALL TEN of the customers ahead of me, she MESSED SOMETHING UP on the till. For delaying the restart of play by giving Dawn and I 10 less minutes for rides, to the girl and the retard who trained her,

Funnily enough, I ran into the implement of the week just after the funnel cake incident. The Tomb Raider ride is right beside the funnel cake store. The Yorkshire Angel isn't too fond of Tomb Raider (mmmm... Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft.... uggghhh...... oops stop drooling, who knows who's reading this) so I rode alone. I was walking through the handrails defining the queue when this young teenage kid runs ahead of me and buds in line. Well, I lose it. I snap. I yell at the kid, flurry to the solarplexes. Ok nothing physical, but I did get vocal with the little shit. He didn't care. Not like knocking me to the side and running along got him any closer through a 10 minute wait. After I re-took my spot in line, all the dickhead could do was bitch and piss IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE, not like I couldn't feel the anger hearing him rant in another language.

So, little shit of a 15 year old kid, for pissing people off in line, and not having the courage to confront someone face to face, I hearby declare you to be Implement of the Week.
neolithic pondered at 20:14
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