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Thursday, September 15, 2005
The laws of filmmaking

As I've more than likely made mention of in several posts, no matter how much preperation is put in, no matter how prepared a crew is for the unknown, Murphy seems to rear his ugly head, like crap rising to the surface. For the three people left out there who are not familiar with Murphy's Law, I give it to you here...
If anything can go wrong, it will
Corollary: It can
MacGillicuddy's Corollary: At the most inopportune time
Now lets see. I worked de-rigging this unnamed film (being made after a video game, to boot) today, which was located in Chiliwack, about 1 1/2 hours realistic drive outside of Burnaby. Being so far out of the normally accepted driving radius, I got paid the moment I sat in my car at 7 AM to head out to the location. YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

And for an hour and a half of sheer bliss (read 7 cups of coffee on the drive there), I enjoyed the scenic drive along #1 and through Chiliwack, things were going well. Then, Murphy showed up. Go figure.

When I recieved the call last night from dispatch, I was instructed to drive down a sideroad which winded through the mountains, well out of city and mobile range. I had to turn off onto another road, but the individual who gave me directions decided not to tell me how to make the final kilometer of the journey, opting to give me the instruction to follow the markers to the crew parking area. See, when a film is shooting at a location, they put up the markers to make it easy to find said set.

Needless to say, Murphy (okay somebody in Locations, but who's counting) removed all the signs. I couldn't even find the road, as it was hidden and unmarked. As such, I continued down the road until it hit a dead end, only to turn back and hit metropolitan Chiliwack, to get mobile service, and ask a fresh voice for directions.

And what did I get? "Just follow the markers on the road and you'll get to [said location]." Obviously, that just didn't work for me. I had now been hunting out this location for the better part of three hours, with no success. So I went on asking for something more specific as the markers were now down. So, the friendly voice on the other end of the phone, exasperated, made the physically draining effort of grabbing the map and figuring out where I had to go.

Wow. After getting real directions, not the follow the yellow brick road variety, I can get to where I need to go. In just three hours (twice the necessary time, using far too much expensive gasoline). Something tells me there's a message here.

The probability that something can go wrong is directly proportional to the square of the amount of inconvenience it can cause you.
The two most abundant things in all the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
or just perhaps
If authority was mass, stupidity would be gravity.
neolithic pondered at 21:29
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