Monday, October 31, 2005
IMDB Top 100 Films Meme
neolithic pondered at 21:43 |
What's the deal with all the spam?
I wonder if anyone really gets this message. First, I'm NOT a resident of the USA (not a commentary, please read on), and as such, and please keep this in mind, NOT ELIGIBLE FOR ALL FREE MERCHANDISE AVAILABLE TO ONLY AMERICAN CITIZENS. I do not want Viagara. I don't want to buy Microshaft software. I don't want to spam other people to hock your cheap ass wares.
And mostly, I don't want to go to University online. Not that telecommuting for a course is a bad idea, for many courses, quite the opposite. In fact, I moreso mean this...
From: Jeremy Crandall [firstname.lastname@example.org]This email just made me howl. And for those of you not familiar with me, I'm a HIGHLY OVEREDUCATED BOFFIN (read brainy geek), here are just a few of the reasons.
Subject: fw: I konw tihs is a good dael!
Good day to you sir,
A Genuine College Degree in 2 weeks C.a.l.l now!-> 1-2,0,6,-338-5780
B/A, B/S/C, M/A, M/S/C, M/B/A, P/H/D,
Within 2 weeks! No Study Required! ,.1_0_0_% Veri.fiable!
The oppor.rtunity exists due to a legal loophole allowing some established
colleges to award de.grees at their dis.cretion.
This little known sec,ret has been kept quiet for years.
Jeffventer Start seeing how much better your life&carreer can be with few letters
behind your name! 0 .risk. and no oblig_ation
For more infor.mation give us a call, You'll thank me later.
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And what were the results? Let me tell you some stories:.
Those janitors aren't missing sleeping right now..
I'm not enjoying fighting over there..
12. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty three e's, seven f's, three g's, nine h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, six l's, fifteen n's, eleven o's, eight r's, twenty five s's, twenty two t's, two u's, six v's, eight w's, four x's, and five y's on the wall.. I didn't love dancing for two hours.. i need to get my nails manicured. Don't you practice dancing as often as possible?. Have you missed reading recently?. But, I spent the next three weeks making a piece of simple software for her son to her specifications. While I was at it, I put 4-8 pictures on the screen as well. The simple program was finished and ready for her child to see. As I was presenting it, the other children in my classroom were pushing each other to get to the computer screen to touch that Touch Window and hear the word spoken again and again. I looked at these kids and was amazed. There was no music, no animation, nothing cute about this program at all, just real pictures with real words. I was stunned. I just watched the children. Within 10 minutes, several children who had never said a word in their life, made approximations of several words. I was hooked.. I am missing working right now.. Then I started 'teaching'. You know, I'm a good teacher. (Well, maybe just an average teacher, but you get the jist). I know what good teachers do. Or I thought I did. I sat with the children at the computer. When they pressed the IntelliKeys' keyboard or the Touch Window' and the computer said the word, I repeated the word and then expanded on the word. After they had pressed the same word several times, I said, "That's right, that's a cat, can you find the dog?? Suddenly, I would see the child's back get stiff, and before you knew it, he got up and left the computer. I didn't understand. Just a few seconds ago, he loved it. What happened?. They are not missing shouting today.. Joseph has just remembered walking.. 12. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty three e's, seven f's, three g's, nine h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, six l's, fifteen n's, eleven o's, eight r's, twenty five s's, twenty two t's, two u's, six v's, eight w's, four x's, and five y's on the wall.. I didn't dislike cooking at home.. i am terribly hungry, do you want to get some food later on?. I have just practiced talking.. THE PARENT arrived back on the scene. She gave me a tape by Dr. Laura Meyers from UCLA. I listened to that tape eight times. I listened over and over and heard the same thing again and again. Ms. Meyers said, 'These kids may need to hear a word many times (perhaps 72 times) before they ever say a word. A computer can be patient and say it the same way every time.' Now I understood. I was not patient enough. I did not allow the student to hear the words over and over. I was interrupting their learning by interjecting, when they were totally engrossed in what they were doing. I was asking questions they were not ready to answer. They were just learning language. They didn't have the answers yet.. The politicians dislike playing all day long.. Then I started 'teaching'. You know, I'm a good teacher. (Well, maybe just an average teacher, but you get the jist). I know what good teachers do. Or I thought I did. I sat with the children at the computer. When they pressed the IntelliKeys' keyboard or the Touch Window' and the computer said the word, I repeated the word and then expanded on the word. After they had pressed the same word several times, I said, "That's right, that's a cat, can you find the dog?? Suddenly, I would see the child's back get stiff, and before you knew it, he got up and left the computer. I didn't understand. Just a few seconds ago, he loved it. What happened?. Does Joe hate laughing over there?.
EDWARDS: But what have we seen? Relentless negative attacks against John. So in the weeks ahead, we know what's coming, don't we?. The gardners regret skiing well.. i need to get a pedicure. my feet smell and itch.
1. Somebody offering higher education to me should know how to spell deal.
2. A PhD in two weeks? I did two years of fluids with satan himself, Dr. Pollard, and it took the whole time to finally get a few simple concepts. So I ask, how worthwhile is your PhD you get with two weeks of "effortTM"?
3. What the fuck is the rest of that email about? Sounds to me this whole course is more about the narcotics experimentation part of "higher" learning rather than getting something of value.
As such, obviously, this is some asshole trying to get rich quick, making suckers believe they'll get smart quick. So you know what we should do? Everybody, and I mean everybody who reads this, forward ALL OF YOUR SPAM TO this email addy...
email@example.com. No, it won't kill this asshole, but hey, it may fill his inbox far too readily.
neolithic pondered at 21:08 |
I've done crying in my beer.
All I have to say is WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? It was supposed to be 6-0, Vancouver over Quebec, but, the team held hostage in Colorado had other plans. Quebec won 4-3 in overtime. Well, we got 1 point out of the ordeal.
I'm in denial. I don't care. It doesn't help when we played virtually the entire second period short handed. Somebody should tell the refs that the Bertuzzi rule (that infractions he may be responsible for cost him harsher penalties) DO NOT CARRY OVER TO THE REST OF THE CANUCKS ALSO. I don't care that Quebec is the team that all this hub-ub started with. Grrr. At least there was some humour Saturday night. Ottawa quietly dismantled the worst team in the history of the NHL, the Make Me Laughs, by a score of 8-0. What little relief that was.
In other news, George "Sulu" Takei, 68, came out of the closet, letting the world know the news that he has been with his partner, Brad Altman for 18 years. First off, wow, what a shock. And by shock, I mean meh. Secondly, even with this revalation, Sulu, a supporting character, still got laid way more than Picard ever did, though nobody tops the intergalactic sex this man has had...
So Sulu's been with Brad since he was fifty. Wow. I still can't imagine being fifty. Please don't ever come. But, as such, fifty, as in percent, is just like half. And half of Takei's current age is 34. And the actual score of the Canucks game was 3-4, for the Nordiques. So, as you can see, George coming out completely changed the whole outcome of the game, and as such, gives us
Utter Golden Perfection.
For our next game, Minnesota finally comes to GM Place to get trounced by the hometown faithful. And, as such, and just to one up Will, Tris, and the rest of Minnesota, the Bert-accu-scoreTM shall be
Vancouver 12 Minnesota 0
neolithic pondered at 20:27 |
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Watch out tomorrow night
Ahh, Hallowe'en. One of my favourite holidays. And now, this cartoon, from my buddy Jake (no blog/link available), as a public service announcement to not make a certain mistake...
neolithic pondered at 20:07 |
An in depth meme
|The Personality Resume|
|Would you rather be an African elephant or an Asian elephant? Why?:||An African Elephant, only because it's ears are bigger (and shaped similarly to the continent). I know it's silly, but I have big ears anyway|
|Would you rather freeze to death or burn alive? Why?:||Freeze to death, only because being so cold would numb you and you wouldn't feel so much pain.|
|Name three movies you like:||Star Wars Saga, The Godfather Trilogy, Bowling for Columbine (which I'm watching right now).|
|Name three books you like:||Lord of the Rings, The Art of War, Tao Te Ching.|
|Have you ever fallen in love with a fictional character? Which one(s)? Why?:||No. I've had crushes (like Colleen McMurphy from China Beach), but I've been grounded enough not to take these things so far.|
|Republican, Democrat or other? Why?:||Liberal. First, we're in Canada. Second, the Liberals are a much better alternative to Conservatives like Stephen Harper.|
|Attendance percentage at high school dances?:||99%|
|What television shows do you watch regularly?:||Trailer Park Boys, Family Guy, South Park, Hell's Kitchen|
|Abortion is...:||More necessary than the religious right would have you believe.|
|The death penalty is...:||Flat out wrong.|
|How do you take your coffee?:||Black, with an espresso shooter.|
|How do you take your tea?:||Black. Except it's usually green tea, so green.|
|Who's your favorite teacher/professor?:||Hmm.. High School, gotta be Sarge, my Phys. Ed./Football/Ski Coach. University, gotta be Oostie, who taught Applied Thermodynamics. Film School, gotta be Andy A.|
|How do you feel about your parents?:||They've always tried to be there, though sometimes misguided.|
|What sort of music do you listen to?:||Anything but two kinds. One being country, the other being western.|
|List five or ten bands you listen to.:||Nine Inch Nails, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Smashing Pumpkins, Barenaked Ladies, The Tea Party, Bob Dylan, The Beatles|
|Do you use public transportation?:||When I can. In Vancouver, the system isn't terribly efficient or expansive.|
|Ever told someone you love him/her?:||Yes, most importantly, my Dawn.|
|Morning person, night person or both?:||Night Person.|
|Siblings?:||Just Jana, ma wonderful sis up in the Cariboo.|
|What are your friends like?:||Few and far between. But those friends of mine I will cherish always.|
|Amusement parks are?:||Too far east to get to now. All we have is Playland. Blech. Make a Wonderland out here dammit!|
|Cafeterias are?:||Poor servers of pasta. It's always crunchy.|
|Dogs are?:||Dawn's favorite pets. I'm more a cat person.|
|Any phobias, traumas or other weirdnesses?:||Heights, but it's weird. Just in certain conditions.|
|Take this survey | Find more surveys|
You've been totally Bzoink*d
neolithic pondered at 19:07 |
Thank you fans
Well, as all of you who watch hockey, well, read NHL hockey have noticed by now, all the arenas in the NHL have painted THANK YOU FANS in big clear letters right behind the blue lines. Not that this one little token will erase the missed 2004-2005 NHL season, but rather, as a token that both the players and owners recognize who really got hurt during the lockout, us, the fans. It's not much, but a start, so long as they maintain the attitude that our enjoyment is paramount.
Well, except for two exceptions. Both Canadian. In Montreal, the message is more universal, as on one blue line it reads THANK YOU FANS, whereas the other blue line reads MERCI A NOS PATRONS, the obvious en francais version, to reach yet even more hockey fans.
So, not to be outdone by the greatest hockey franchise in NHL history, the
THANK YOU LEAF FANS.
I wonder if these village idiots realize something. There's this lovely invention. Let us call it television. Now, Maple Leafs, and Maple Leaf fans, there's something to realize about the power of this "box" called "television". It allows the fans of your opponents to watch the game at home when their team visits Toronto to play. And you, Toronto, have singlehandedly, by being different, tainted the solidarity of thanking all the fans as a group, making your fans paramount, and by virtue, giving the bird
just to play to your fans, the suckers they are, so they'll spend more money on your team than any other NHL fan in North America, despite the 38 year championship drought, and that you're replacement leader
Eric Lindros, will never, EVER reach the promised land.
Leaf fans, Leaf management, for being elitist, clique minded, and overall whiny and irritating, by not playing as a team (hey, maybe that's your first hint), I hereby give you
which will not only continue your championship drought, but create a playoff drought of 88 years, the equivalent of the White Sox championship drought. You sorely deserved the 8-0 thrashing defeat at home, to the hands of your provincial rivals, Ottawa.
neolithic pondered at 11:19 |
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Evil Genius Test
neolithic pondered at 19:47 |
Here we go...
neolithic pondered at 19:36 |
Okay, okay. I'm back. Kinda sorta. Anyhow, to important business.
As for the last game, the The Bert-accu-scoreTM was Vancouver 4 Quebec 3, whereas the
Utter GoldenTM perfection!
As such, the rubber match is tonight, and the score of the game shall be
Vancouver 6 Quebec 0
neolithic pondered at 17:55 |
Who would you be if you were a character in an epic fantasy?
You are the Sage, the mysterious
wise one or shaman. Sages dedicate their lives
to the pursuit of knowledge. They are very wise
and are good with philosophy and theology. They
make good teachers, counselors, and
Who would you be if you were a character in an epic fantasy? (beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
neolithic pondered at 16:27 |
Friday, October 28, 2005
Not your average 4.20
Copyright 2005 by Jeff Vickers
*Disclaimer*Through the darkness of the night forest, trees barely visible through the light blue moonlight, shone two erratic, yellow lights, moving through the trees. The lights were accompanied by giggles and laughs of four men, seemingly enjoying each other's company. Soon the four reached a clearing in the woods, and settled around a circle of twelve rocks, in the center the ashes of a bonfire once lit there.
This story is a bit beyond my normal fare. Some people may find the contents disturbing and morbidly graphic. Read on at your own risk.
The four men quickly gathered dead branches, some wood, and set up the wood to create an open pit fire in the clearing. Charlie lit the fire, which became fully ablaze almost immediately. Ian reached into his knapsack, pulling out a bong, fashioned as a ceramic alien head, whose all black eyes were bloodshot, and forehead tattooed with a marijuana leaf. Dougall and Marcus smiled at each other, eager to toke off the highly creative bong.
Ian looked at his watch. "It's time" he remarked, as he lit the already prepared smoking machine, and took a hit, holding it in until he half coughed and half laughed out the cloud of smoke.
"Ere." Ian paused, with a big grin crossing his face. "I can't remember the last time we celebrated such a holy day."
"Uh, isn't that holiday? I don't think God would consider the pot-smoker's holiday terribly holy" remarked Dougall.
"Meh. It's holy for us. NOTHING is more sacred" Ian rebutted. The four friends continued to smoke until they had finished all the weed, and the group was good and baked.
Still standing, and laughing for a virtual eternity in their reverie, Ian glanced at his watch. "Shit, I've got to be at work in an hour."
"Couldn't you get the day off?" inquired Marcus.
"Not a chance. You know what they say, all work and no play..."
"Makes Jack Nicholson a schitzophrenic killer."
The four men laughed. Ian said his goodbyes, to which Charlie added, "I'll be back. I have to ten-one."
Ian and Charlie disappeared in opposite directions, leaving Marcus and Dougall still joking amongst each other. "Do you think it's a surprise that Charlie is still single?" joked Dougall.
"Hell, if it wasn't for us taking him to that rub-n-tug, I'd doubt he'd ever lose his virginity."
Charlie slowly appeared, partially hidden by the foliage, staring at the two men joking at his expense. He slowly approached, and as he came within earshot, he suddenly froze, his eyes, hard and cold, pierced through the two jokers.
"Why do we even hang out with him?" chuckled Dougall.
"'Cuz he's got the herb, man." replied Marcus.
Still in the bushes, Charlie's cold, piercing blue eyes started to glow a straw orange, the same colour as the fire. The more he listened, a voice started echoing quietly in his head. "Strike in anger" it repeated, over and over. Charlie's body became so rigid that it began to tremble, quiver, and quake all at once. His unblinking eyelid began to flutter a little bit, and there was a twitch to his upper lip.
"What a failure Charlie is" bellowed Dougall in fits of laughter. The voice uttering "Strike in anger" screamed in Charlie's head, and his rigidity snapped. From underneath his shirt and trousers, Charlie drew a Tanto, and sprinted with all his fury directly at Dougall and Marcus. Before the pair could make any kind of move, Charlie started impaling the knife repeatedly, violently, into the chest of both his victims. The assault continued, the rage grew, the blood poured faster, and Charlie grinned sardonically over top of his prey.
Then silence. Charlie stood over his prizes, butchered, and breathing quite labouriously. Charlie raised his Tanto, and drove it up the neck and into the brains of both of his victims.
Daylight broke over the clearing, the fire burned out, the singing of birds mellowing the eerie air. Officer Dana Johnson enters the clearing, looks around, and then stops. She finds herself staring at Dougall and Marcus, their heads impaled on spikes, blood still flowing down the pikes to the ground.
"Oh my God" remarked Dana, as she half keeled over, trying to avoid the power of her nausea overtaking her. Before she could lift herself back up, she felt the slash of a Katana through her midsection. She turned around to see Ian, eyes piercing and aglow the same straw orange, right before she fell to the ground, torso separate from legs. From the bush rose Charlie, brandishing the bloodied Katana, grinning sardonically.
"I have nothing left to teach you, my pupil" gloated Ian, tapping Charlie's shoulder in pride.
neolithic pondered at 21:21 |
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Well as it appears
It seems I've been wrong about a great many things these days. As such, this post, and my 'net presence as a whole is on hiatus.
Maybe if things turn around it might change.
neolithic pondered at 22:21 |
Could you pass Grade 8 math?
I can... here's the proof...
|You Passed 8th Grade Math|
Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!
Not that this one's a shock.
neolithic pondered at 21:18 |
Tech troubles? Blame this man...
Yes, it's now official. William Shatner's ego has grown beyond the size of both the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. Yet still it's not as bad as Leonard Nimoy, who released the books, I am NOT Spock, followed by I am Spock, and is dealing with seperation from reality issues. But Leonard isn't Canadian, which gives Bill a better, though still askew footing in reality.
We've been getting a lot of ads lately for this documentary, How William Shatner Changed The World, which appears to be half a blatant boost to old Bill's ego, the other half an investigative piece about how the creativity of Star Trek has influenced current technological innovation.
So, my message to all, and not least Ms. Silk from Geordieland, every time you use a cellular, or mobile phone, you have to thank this man
for inspiring this technology to be developed.
That is all.
neolithic pondered at 16:23 |
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Time to get the blinders off
I think it's official. My head has been lodged firmly up my own ass. Or I just don't have the radio on that much. As such, as I'm sure many of you (well, okay, just the Canadians) already know, the Tea Party broke up last Tuesday, October 18, 2005. I remember listening to the fine band all my time through university, and further beyond, still listening to them this very day.
Though Jeff Martin is launching a solo career, they shall be sadly missed.
neolithic pondered at 22:43 |
Burps from Bert.. back up to speed
Well, lets get back up to speed. Things are starting to look up, and let's get down to the last two games. After which,
Game 1. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the
Vancouver 5 Quebec 3
and the "Official" (*cough* Bullshit *cough*) score of the game was 6-4, still for Vancouver. In the game, Burnaby native Joe Sakic was booed louder than any other player, giving Quebec the motivation to score one more goal for the kipper. Ok, for Burnaby Joe. As well, it was the night of game one of the World Series, and in honour of the prestigious event, coupled with Maple Ridge native Larry Walker's retirement, the Canucks scored one extra goal as a going away present.
Game 2. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the Wild game was
Vancouver 7 Minnesota 0
and the "Official" (*cough* Bullshit *cough* fucktards *cough*) score of the game was 3-1, still for Vancouver. Well, in four games, the Chicago White Sox swept the Houston Astros, taking all wins from Vancouver's goal total. The Vikings, yes that American Rugby team, did the unthinkable, beating Green Bay. The win inspired the hapless Wild score one goal against the Juggernaut which is Canucks hockey.
And that, once again, gives us utter Golden perfection.
Next game, the Canucks travel to the prison, known as the Pepsi Centre, to fight the imprisoned Nordiques tomorrow. And, without further adieu, the Bert-accu-scoreTM shall be
Vancouver 4 Quebec 3
neolithic pondered at 21:47 |
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Meme number Two for the evening
Stolen from Wendy, as she steals all of mine.
1)They're finally making the movie of your life and, after narrowing the role of YOU down to three actors, they've asked for your choice. Who are the three actors, and which person do you ultimately choose?
Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and David Lynch. When it comes to final casting, the great Mr. Pacino is deemed to be too Sicilian, Christopher Walken struggles trying to be as creepy as me, so by default, the great filmmaker Lynch will play the role of the soon to be great filmmaker, Vickers.
2) You're at a fancy restaurant with your significant other, when your arch nemesis shows up with his gang to rob the place. You left your costume home tonight, and you wouldn't want to reveal your true identity unless there was no other choice. How do you handle this one?
I would pull the hood from over my head to reveal a frightening, black mask, emitting a loud, mechanical breathing noise. Come on, you should know me better by now.
3) 4 +X/8=15Y-23Z; solve for each variable.
x = 120y - 184z - 32
y = x/120 + (23/15)z + 4/15
z = -x/184 +(15/23)y - 4/23
4) They're turning my blog into a sitcom! Quick, who's playing me?
Stewart Gilligan Griffin (ok, he's voiced by Seth Green).
5) What was the scariest moment of your life?
Just before leaving Windsor, when a doctor, who, for whatever reason, said I MAY have cancer. It turns out he was just paranoid, a worst-case scenario ramble. In future, buddy, SHUT YA MOUTH. I still worry about cancer to this day.
6) After much thought and deliberation, you realize the best thing you can do with your life is form your own team of superheroes. Keeping in mind that you don't actually possess any powers or a dual identity in this scenario, how do you go about selecting your team, what abilities do you look for in potential allies, and what do you call your group?
Super tolerance to alcohol, skates faster than a speeding bullet, a shot hard enough to shatter glass, and unparalleled fighting skills. This group would be the Canadian Olympic Men's Hockey Team.
7) If a hypothetical train is traveling East at 70 MPH, and a hypothetical truck is traveling North at 55 MPH, then name 3 famous people you feel shouldn't be famous.
Paris Hilton. Not only can she not act, not only is she the village bicycle (everyone's had a ride), she's butt ugly to boot.
Jar Jar Binks. Okay, he's a character. But, the worst character. Ever.
Ben Mulroney. The host of Canadian Idol. Almost as bad as Ms. Hilton, his father, our ex-Prime Minister, is the only reason he's not working at McDonalds, asking gaggles of teenage girls if they'd like fries with their order.
8) A freak accident caused by lightning or radiation or genetic engineering or whichever origin suits you, bestows upon you the ability to step INSIDE your television set and interact with the characters. Where do you go first, and why?
Quahog, Rhode Island, to help Stewie kill Lois.
9) After winning a karaoke contest, you're awarded the grand prize from a local radio station: you get to perform ONE song alongside your favorite group! Who do you sing with and what song?
Nine Inch Nails - Sanctified
10) A blogger you read regularly posts a pop quiz. Do you take it? Please list your reasons either way.
Yes, yes I do. First, this meme entry. Secondly, I love extra content that lets people know me a bit better. Thirdly, I usually have little constructive to say.
11) The quiz goes all the way up to 11.
Just like my guitar. Thank you, Spinal Tap!
neolithic pondered at 21:13 |
Meme number One for the evening
As per being tagged by Nugget...
Copy the questions and then insert your own answers. Then you can either nominate someone to be tagged, or just tag everyone.
What were three of the stupidest things you've ever done in your life?
1. Let not just one, but two fat men (it's not that they're fat, but rather, the two individuals are similarily assholes, and coincidentally, both were quite overweight) push and bully me around.
2. Letting a great many decide for me what my future was to entail.
3. Visited Watkins Glen, NY, on not just one, but THREE seperate occasions.
At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
1. Dawn. When others didn't believe in me, she did. No matter what happened in the last 18 months (well just about 18 months), she told me nothing else matters as long as we have each other. And she's stood by those words through thick and thin. And she's the only one who has ever tried to live up to their words to me. I love you babe. Thank you for everything you do.
2. Myself. Only on the basis that I don't believe in fate, that you must take control of your own destiny, and every action I take influences my future in some way.
3. David Lynch. When I'm down, I remember why I'm in this rat race. To make movies, that ultimately, are so complex, bizzare, and surreal that it would make my idol's films look very straightforward in comparison.
If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were only allowed to pick up five people for Dinner, who would you pick?
Well, part of it would be all four of my grandparents. Dawn never had the opportunity to meet any of them, and for some odd reason, I feel more of my character has come from them, not necessarily from my parents. As for the fifth, my late Uncle Dave.
If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
1. That the Canucks win the Stanley Cup, this season, in an All-Canadian final (vs. Ottawa).
2. That I can work in film without ever having to worry about money.
3. That Dawn and I can one day have a child.
Someone is visiting your hometown/place you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things to avoid.
Well, in Ontario, Dawn and I were season's pass holders at Canada's Wonderland. In Vancouver, we have Playland. It's a piss poor substitute. Dawn and I could spend a whole day there, but I couldn't imagine spending more that one or two hours at Playland. Also, in Ontario, Dawn and I spent way too much time at Second Cup. There's very few here, and a low population of Tim Horton's, in lieu of
Two things to avoid? Simply put, Surrey and Hastings. Well, unless you're fond of being assaulted/murdered/addicted to crystal meth.
Name one thing that has changed your life
Dawn. She makes me feel special every single day, makes me feel like things matter, that I'm important. I haven't felt that way in so long, and Dawn rekindled that in me. I love you babe.
Now I'm supposed to tag people. Well, whoever wants to do this who's read it. Just link back to me.
neolithic pondered at 20:58 |
I've been getting lazy...
And as such, I've been rather truant in my posting of late. Anyhow, as the Canucks game is tonight, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be
Vancouver 7 Minnesota 0
P.S. 2 wrap ups and a real blog post to follow soon.
That is all.
neolithic pondered at 17:39 |
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Meme stolen from Dawn
Yup. Bored bored bored. And since the rest of the known universe stole this from Dawn, I've decided too as well.
Here's what you do. Open the Google Search Bar and type in your name exactly as you see here "your name needs" replacing the your name bit with yep, you guessed it, your name. Then post the first 10 results as they show up. I found this to be quite hilarious and weird.
1. Jeff needs access to the room the night.
2. Obviously, Jeff NEEDS a shoe (not the special ones the doctor insisted he would be wearing for the rest of his life).
3. We started by forming an informal group to address Jeff's needs as he approached
graduation from high school.
4. Jeff needs access to the room the night before and/or 45 minutes prior to his start.
5. JEFF NEEDS TO COME BACK TO RAW AND BRING MATT WITH HIM.
(Sorry bout the caps... just too lazy to retype this one).
6. Jeff needs your help to bring the right priorities to Capitol Hill.
7. I really think Jeff needs to come visit his friends in Texas soon.
8. But as well as just being listed, Jeff needs to organise appearing high up on the search results.
9. The DSS makes available services and resources that Jeff needs to explore his plans, always open to the option of changing the plan if this does not work out as he hopes.
10. He said Jeff needs to reduce exposure in growth-oriented funds such as Fidelity OTC (FOCPX) and Vanguard Growth Index (VIGRX), where the bulk of his retirement monies are invested.
Funny. I didn't get the same feeling doing this. Just seems everyone needs something from me, not that I need something.
That is all.
neolithic pondered at 19:32 |
I haven't been here that much
So, as such, maybe a lil taste of what's covering my noodle, or in the more commonly referred to saying, what's on my mind. And, I just had the urge to say something, so I podcast this.
The end of an era... for now... sorta....
neolithic pondered at 01:45 |
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Don Cherry, you traitor. You sold your soul to Toronto. You won't even do Coaches Corner for the West Coast teams anymore. As such, here's a little sentiment, which is just a mild photoshop adjustment of a pic I got from my buddy Jake (no blog site, and a Make Me Laughs fan to boot).
neolithic pondered at 20:13 |
Friday, October 21, 2005
2 Games worth of recaps... and another *BBUURRPP*
Ok. For Canucks/Blackhawks, the Bert-accu-scoreTM was 7-1 for the good guys, and the "result" of the game just happened to be 6-2, again favouring the good guys. Well, the same number of goals were scored.
However, the game took place on Tuesday, in Vancouver, where by some miracle, it was a sunny day (as you may or may not know, it's monsoon season here in Vancouver, and yes, even in Burnaby. Okay we're right beside, so there's no real difference in climate). As such, there was too much positive karma in the city, so to bring things back into balance, one goal shifted from Vancouver and was donated to the Blackhawks.
For Canucks/Coyotes, Bert solidly predicted a score of 8-2 favouring the high-flying knuckles, but sadly, Satan
interfered, leaving the score at 3-2. You see, Brett Hull
retired earlier this week (I'm too lazy to check to see what day when. It's been a long week. Meh). This "Canadian", born in Belleville, sold his soul many moons ago. When he didn't meet the standards to play on Team Canada, he made a run for the border, as he attained dual citizenship, when his father, the more skilled and talented Bobby Hull, played for the Chicago Blackhawks. As such, this traitor immediately made the Yankee team.
Editor's note. Funny how even back in either Hull's days, that Canada just naturally outpowers our southern neighbors in hockey and drinking. Yep. I added the last bit. But American beer is too much like sex in a canoe. It's fucking close to water. No wonder the Americans get loaded on one beer when the 19-20 year olds road trip it to Canada for a weekend of drinking.
Anyhow, back to the game. Satan's contractee retired from the NHL. And seeing as this involves both Satan, who is synonymous with 666, there has to be a difference of six in there. And since the NHL is less 1 Golden Brett, the difference of six is less one, hence 5. And, as such, the margin of victory was narrowed by five goals, giving us...
UTTER GOLDEN PERFECTION
Our next game, tomorrow night, see the Quebec Nordiques, held hostage in the city of Denver, Colorado, kept happy playing in the Pepsi Center (you see, in Quebec, the francophones drink way more Pepsi than Coke) try to create an Avalanche in GM Place. Here's a hint. We have no snow in Vancouver yet. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be
Vancouver 5 Quebec 3
neolithic pondered at 22:19 |
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Burps from Bert... Phoenix in town tonight.
Yeah, yeah, Bert
hasn't commented to the last Canucks game. But, alas, do not worry, as a special double game recap will come following the results of tonight's
Phoenix is in town for the second time this season. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be
Canucks 6 Phoenix 2.
neolithic pondered at 18:09 |
Monday, October 17, 2005
You know what really grinds my gears 17 October 2005
The Podcast version.
neolithic pondered at 23:57 |
Canucks recap, and another burp from Bert
Ahh, what a game Sunday evening. Except for one thing. It was on Pay Per View. You heard me. Pay per view. The Canucks forfieted (well ok, didn't have scheduled) a Saturday Night match, a staple here in God's country. So we miss Canucks hockey on TV unless we shell out a whack of cash to see it. I still blame the CBC, based out of Toronto, trying to de-popularize the other, real, Canadian teams (a little known fact, Toronto is actually seceeding to the United States... boo) to bring more viewers, and thus more revenues through Toronto to the ever in a financial loss broadcaster.
The Bert-accu-scoreTM given was 6-4, for the Canucks, over Dallas, and the actual score was 5-2, once again, for the good guys. Good enough.
Yeah you heard me... no explai...
Well, the BC teachers are on strike, and facing major resistance by the government, but are still going strong. As such, Vancouver's defence felt the strength of those dedicated professionals who empower our children to make something of their futures, and as such, took two goals from Dallas, because we always "measure twice". However, it has rained for one week solid, demotivating Vancouver from scoring their sixth goal, which brings us to Golden perfection.
Our next game, which is tomorrow, where the Chicago Blackhawks stroll into town to face Bert
yes this one
and the boys. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game will be
Canucks 7 Blackhawks 1
neolithic pondered at 23:26 |
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The James Lipton Meme
Found at Via Sequencia
At the end of each episode of Inside the Actors Studio, insipid host James Lipton always asks his guests ten questions. This meme is about answering those questions.
Here are the rules:
1. Copy the questions and provide your own answers in your own blog.
2. Tag as many or as few people as you like.
3. Report back here to the comments and let me know that you answered so that we all might be edified.
4. If you don't have a blog of your own, just leave your answers in the comments.
Here are the questions:
1. What is your favorite word? Well, if meh counted as a word, Meh. Otherwise, it's got to be phlegm, just for it's spelling and phonetic sense.
2. What is your least favorite word? Republican.
3. What turns you on? My Dawn.
4. What turns you off? The nasty medical oddity shows on TLC/Discovery.
5. What is your favorite curse word? Calisse. God I love the French language. You can swear and it sounds so delightful.
6. What sound do you love? The THX warmup in the theatres.
7. What sound do you hate? Sound that is out of sync with the picture. It drives me nuts. Even more so than seeing ADR in a film.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? In film, I want to shift to editing, then directing. Out of film, teaching some obscure film technology course to anti-tech film students (I guess pure writers, just to fuck with them).
9. What profession would you not like to participate in? Anything in the military.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? The beer's right over there...
I'm not going to tag anyone, as nobody seems to care, well except Dawn. So she's tagged.
neolithic pondered at 01:48 |
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Second Minnesota Recap
Well, well, well. It looks like Vancouver actually showed up last night to put the annoyingly defensive Wild out of their misery last night, to the tune of 5-3, just what the Bert-accu-scoreTM accurately predicted. Golden perfection yet again!!
Our next game is against the Dallas Stars, in which I ask, what on earth does ANYTHING in Texas have to do with hockey? They stole Minnesota's former team to compete. Meh.
Canada will once again prevail, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for tomorrow nights game will be
Vancouver 6 - Dallas 4
neolithic pondered at 14:10 |
How Google gets to me
Today's search criteria:
Hmm... maybe I've killed silk by posting too many of these pics:
Meh. Maybe not. So, as such...
neolithic pondered at 13:57 |
My First Audioblog
I hope you all like it. Read I hope I did this right as so you can actually here my audioblog. Well Podcast.
*Editor's note: As with all the "free" technology, it seems Podomatic has nifty little quirks that complicate embedding the audioblog in this post (like you can with audioblogger.com). As such, I've altered the link to just take you to my podcast page. Hopefully, this won't be too much of an issue.
neolithic pondered at 02:22 |
Friday, October 14, 2005
Fiction Friday Required Reading
First off, our host, the delightful Ms. Silk, teaches us we weren't wrong about all the monsters we feared in our youth, that it's ok to believe, so long as you're not too late in that belief. Too bad she didn't include a picture of the Rock in her post. Mind you she's not back from hiatus.
Phoenix returns with another spy story, which turns to a hostage crisis with a cliff hanger of an ending. I just want to ask... have you sold the TV rights to your stories yet? If not, I want to produce them...
Sugarbowl has an explicit flashback of Marco, at the crossroads of love. Will he have the courage to do the right thing?
neolithic pondered at 21:41 |
Okay, maybe I'm a little slow...
Or maybe it hasn't been until I've been less busy in the movie business that I've taken notice of all the old, but good shows on the vast plethora of cable channels out there these days.
Just as a little back story, my parents never had cable. Just recently, they finally broke down and got a Bell ExpressVu sattelite as even a clear, local channel such as CBC wouldn't even come in for them on their antenna.
Anyhow, now that I'm a bit more tuned in, I get to see more Family Guy (ok, I own EVERY episode on DVD), more Trailer Park Boys, and am getting re-acquainted with a certain, old series about a military medical hospital in south east Asia.
No, not M*A*S*H, though that was a good show. I'm talking about China Beach. That show was brilliant, and when I was young I had a crush on Dana Delany
Yes, you can start calling me geek anytime now.
Anyhow, it's a shame that such good shows only lasted a few years, as China Beach made only 3 seasons. Join me in prayer that the DVD comes out soon.
It's a shame that good programming like that is fewer and farther between now more than ever.
C'est la vie. Tabarnacle!
neolithic pondered at 01:23 |
Lurvely... another quiz/meme thingy
And wow... loads of HTML in this one...
| You are a |
You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test
neolithic pondered at 00:59 |
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Finally, the Rock has come back to Fiction Fridays
As such, being on hiatus and all, I hope this story matches my old, quaint charming yet heartwarming pieces you've all come to love and enjoy.
THE SOUL'S EYE Copyright 2005 Jeff Vickers
In bright moonlight, Colleen moves quietly yet deliberately through the forest. The deeper she progresses, the more the trees seem to grow into straight rows, without randomness, lined in utter mathematical progression. The moonlight becomes more and more blue, to the point Colleen can no longer see anything beyond the tree nearest her, and the blue glow surrounding her. From the darkness, a silhouetted hand reaches out toward her.
"No!" Colleen mutters, not a yell, but rather a loud yet soft cry. A dozen people turn around to stare at Colleen, who looks up to see herself not in the forest, but in church, with all onlookers, and herself, dressed in their Sunday best.
"You know, I think it's a sin to fall asleep in church" snickered Colleen's brother Robert, quietly, and with a sarcastic chuckle. Colleen refused to verbally reply, opting to give Robert a stiff elbow to his side.
Watching the priest's sermon, Colleen seemed to drift away yet again, and soon found herself back in the forest. She quickly walked through the trees, once again seeing them, almost by the tree's choice, begin to file into ordered lines. The light became bluer, and bluer, and the silhoutted hand reached out again. The hand is now being accompanied by a voice, uttering "This hand did that. The blood has your..." The voice was stilted and backward, but yet had a quality Colleen recognized, but could not place.
"But, as it seems, my daughter hasn't the respect my family has, paying final wishes to her father by SLEEPING THROUGH THE SERVICE!" Colleen jerked awake with a start, and noticed all the people in the pews were now looking at her, all with the same angered, disgusted look. Colleen went red with embarassment, and sat, looking toward the floor, in a feeble attempt to hide from the glares that were burning through her like a hot knife through butter.
The remainder of the surface was a haze, as Colleen's mother finished the eulogy, the priest parted with some last words, and the pallbearers slowly carried the casket, containing the body of Colleen's father, down the aisle of the cathedral towards the awaiting Hearse. All the while, the sounds of the funeral were drowned out by the voice repeating "This hand did that. The blood has your..." over and over in Colleen's head, which was followed only by the repeating thought in Colleen's head, "has my what?"
The Hearse and the automotive procession finally reaches St. Peter's cemetary, and the priest stands above the grave, about to commit Colleen's father to the ground. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" is drowned out to the weird chants of "This hand did that. The blood has your..." still ringing in Colleen's mind.
Thumping starts to echo through the casket, and Colleen stares at the casket, frozen in shock. Her shock turns to horror as the lid of the coffin slowly rises. The coffin is slowly lowered into the ground, as the lid opens all the way, and Colleen's father sits up, as he's lowered into the ground. As dirt is shovelled into the grave, her father slowly, yet methodically, makes his way out of the hole, and walks toward Colleen.
Colleen, frozen and terrified, sees her father approach her. However, she finds it incredibly strange as none of the mourners have even batted an eye that anything has happened, like they are oblivious to what is going on. Her father stands directly opposite her, uttering "This hand did that. The blood has your..." over and over again.
The brightness of the day suddenly gives way to a deep blue, moonlit night, and suddenly the utterance from Colleen's father changes. It now makes sense.
"The hand that did this has your blood. The one who killed me was you bro..."
The remainder of the sentence drowned out to Colleen's own scream, as, unbeknownst to Colleen, Robert lay waiting behind her, and repeatedly stabbed a nine inch blade into Colleen's back.
neolithic pondered at 22:55 |
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
What the fuck happened?
I don't know what to say. I predicted a very reliable 12-0 score for the Canucks over the lowly, defensive minded Minnesota Wild. The Wild, however, aided by a figure only as evil and diabolical as either Palpatine
could be evil enough to have effected the near reversal of the score, leaving the Canucks agast at the hands of their first regulation defeat, 6-0.
Well, elsewhere in the A-Golden-World-a-verseTM, Montreal defeated Atlanta 2-0, and with the two goals, thus divided the total goal scoring in the Canucks game by two.
In unrelated news, UNICEF bombed the Smurfs.
This act could only be perpetrated by such evil, such as this man
or this man
and as such, whoever did it, needed to bring the ForceTM just out of balance long enough for a humanitarian organization such as UNICEF to bomb the crap out of Smurfs. Just as an editor's sidenote, anyone reading this, while playing the Smurfs drinking game, must now finish all the alcohol, or more commonly referred to as CH3CH2OH around these parts, in your entire home. Go, drink now. Bwahahaha.
Anyhow, Bush/Palpatine/Benedict XVI had to find the misbalance somewhere. As such, said part took Vancouver's remaining 6 goals, and gave them to the Wild. As such, utter perfection for Bert!!
For our next game, the Canucks stay in Minnesota, only to exact revenge on Friday for the evils of the Sith. Though now we won't be fooling ourselves, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game is:
Vancouver 5 Minnesota 3
neolithic pondered at 23:47 |
What Pattern is Your Brain?
|Your Brain's Pattern|
Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.
You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored.
You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.
And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.
neolithic pondered at 21:09 |
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Burps from Bert... Game 3 recap
Well, well. What can I say? The official Bert-accu-scoreTM for last nights (okay afternoon here on the west coast) game was Canucks 4 - Red Wings 3, and the actual score for the game was Canucks 4 - Red Wings 2. Close enough. We still won.
But, alas, for the Bert nay sayers, I will say this. Balance was disrupted last night as the Canucks game ran at the same time as the Golden, beloved New York Yankees played, and lost the Divisional Series to the complexity of team names known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (yup, it's really their name now, and yup, it's sad, sad, sad).
Excuse me while I cry...
As such, to bring balance, the Yankee loss caused Canuck backup goaltender Alex Auld to let one less goal in, hence, utter Golden PerfectionTM once again, and such, am three for three.
As for tomorrow night's game, against the replacement for the Minnesota North Stars, the Minnesota Wild. And since my buddy Will lives there now, it's only fitting that the official Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game should be
Vancover 12 - Minnesota 0
neolithic pondered at 23:58 |
Monday, October 10, 2005
A trip down memory lane
Ahh, the joys of searching through your blogs recent visits list (thanks to Sitemeter.com. Back to the old days, my May archives. But what brought me to my may archives, may you ask? A Yahoo search. Cripes, who on earth uses anything other than Google to search for anything on this wonderful World Wide Web.
Anyhow, the query of this search reminds me of virtually every search that would ultimately lead you to Silk's site.
drinking penis cumm
Wow. And what's more ironic, it leads to posts that refer to the opening of the final installment of the Star Wars saga. Strange.
Maybe I should silence my potty mouth. Yeah, I'd like that. As much as I'd like rectal thermometry.
neolithic pondered at 18:21 |
Fun things found surfing
First, found at Way of the Mind:
Dubya, think Locusts. Seriously dude. There may be instructions in the BibleTM.
Second, found at Mark Rogers, Super Guy. I thought Will might have fun showing this to a certain Geordie.
Introducing the new Shatner finger puppet! Get yours now!
WHAT MUPPET ARE YOU?
You are Dr. Bunson Honeydew.
You love to analyse things and further the cause of
science, even if you do tend to blow things up
more often than not.
Scientific inquiry, Looking through microscopes,
Recombining DNA to create decorative art.
"Now, Beakie, we'll just flip this switch and
60,000 refreshing volts of electricity will
surge through your body. Ready?"
FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTIST:
John Cougar Melonhead
LAST BOOK READ:
"Quantum Physics: 101 Easy Microwave
NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:
An atom smasher and plenty of extra atoms.
What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
neolithic pondered at 15:05 |
What Classic Movie are you?
Yup. It's a holiday and I'm bored. Go figure. Now only if I had my VHS copies of the Indiana Jones Trilogy...
neolithic pondered at 14:29 |
Happy Thanksgiving to all
Yup. It's Dawn's first ever Thanksgiving today. And, being 4,500km from my parents, it is the first Thanksgiving in 32 years I'll be spending away from them. Yup, Dawn and I are saving for a few things, probably most immediately is to be able to fly to the UK around
But alas, no turkey. Not that I'm really a big fan of Turkey anyhow. It was offered for lunch on Friday (yes, I got to work for the first time in two weeks Friday... woo hoo), but I opted for the roast beef. If there ever was a food not to feed a busy, long working film crew, it would be turkey. Nothing like needing to be on the ball while feeling sleepy.
On the plus side, we've already had a
Anyhow, here's to another Monday holiday I can't work. Grrr....
neolithic pondered at 13:09 |
Sunday, October 09, 2005
It's official... Tony Danza has a sex change
Well, okay. I don't have physical proof. But after reading this in 24 Hours yesterday, it becomes even more suggestable. Here is the article, in it's entirity.
Former Taxi star Tony Danza is far from impressed with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' baby news--because they're having a child out of wedlock.Wow. Who really cares what Tom and Katie are doing in their spare time. Really. Poor Tony must be struggling with low ratings. Why? Because he's not female. Not to sound sexist, but his market directly competes with Ellen Degeneres and Oprah Winfrey. Lets face it, the aging Brooklyn native just doesn't have the same appeal.
The Hollywood couple, who became engaged in June after two months of dating, announced they're expecting their first child together yesterday.
Danza is bemused by Cruise's behavior and believes his recent attack on Brooke Shields' decision to take medication for her postpartum depression was hypocritical considering the Mission: Impossible star is now living his own life with questionable morality.
The talk show host says, "I'm a little upset about this. Here's a guy out there lecturing people about drugs, but out of wedlock births don't seem to bother him.
"He's never [appearing on] my show, so it doesn't matter."
He adds, "I'm happy for them, but we're going to send them to Maury (Povich's show) for a DNA test.
So what does he do? He sensationalizes pop culture, just like Maury Povich and Montel Williams do, just to get the ratings, without getting all Jerry Springer.
First, Tony was a housekeeper, now he's become a gossip monger. Whatever happened to our beloved boxer from Taxi?
neolithic pondered at 20:51 |