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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Naked for the 'Nucks

But before that, I have just one simple question for you all. Why is it, that on the first snowfall of the winter, does it seem that every single driver on the road COMPLETELY SHUT THEIR BRAIN OFF, and as such, turn a 10-15 minute drive into a hour or longer horror?

Luckily, during my personal hell which is Canada Highway #1, there was a saving grace. As our beloved Canucks, coming off a rather unfortunate 2 game road trip, are hosting the team America holds hostage, the Quebec Nordiques, in the Garage. As such, my new listen for the drive to work, The Fox, has a contest to win tickets for each Canucks home game.

It's Naked for the 'Nucks. Yup, some willing fan, somewhere in public, and in full view, must become stark naked, while on cell (or mobile, depending which way you want to call it). You must also give details of your location, to tip off potential passers by, and provide some legitimized conformation. One contestant, female actually, sent in pics from a cameraphone to confirm it. Anyhow, once naked, the contestant then must answer three DIFFICULT hockey trivia questions, out of five, in order to win the tickets.

All I have to say that it was FUCKING HILARIOUS. And this was the second time I got to hear it. The first was on the drive for my day call to Da Vinci's City Hall, though my brain becomes complete goo after a day on set. And having lived in the armpit of Ontario, Windsor, which ironically is right across the strait, which in french is detroit, or now bastardized as the Detroit River, from Detroit and Joe Louis Arena, home of the Detroit Red Wings, I know for a fact Red Wing fans wouldn't do that for Wings tickets.

Wimps! Canucks fans did it, in the snow (which is a rarity here, especially for this time of the year), just to see their superior team play.

Well, except for this weekend. But, alas, there was an imbalance in the Force. The Canucks game took place at the same time as WWE's Survivor Series. In the classic Survivor Series match, pitting team Raw vs. team Smackdown, the obviously much stronger Raw side was shocked when they lost, and Randy Orton became the sole survivor. This totally erradicated Vancouver's goal total against Quebec. But, it seems 6 Smackdown superstars, not just 5, participated, as the end of the match brought the return of the Undertaker. This eliminated the two goals for Quebec, and replaced them with six, one for each Smackdown superstar who was active, in a legitimate fashion or not, for the match. Thus, Quebec's goal total rose to six.

As for Kane and Big Show, who by all rights should have dominated the match, their loss equated for two goals on the Vancouver side, giving them two goals back, making the final score Nordiques 6 Canucks 2, and giving us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight's game, Quebec comes to the Garage tonight, to engage in the classic home and home two-game series, and will not have the boo's for Bertuzzi like they do in their prison, Colorado. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 3 Quebec 1

Cha Gheill!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
So Unpolitical

Ok. I lied. Not like we as people have ever been lied to.

And speaking of lying liars,

Yes, our dear, special friend, Stephen Harper, probably looking at some obscure numbers as to where Lotto 649 was won in the last ten years, and mistaking them for Angus-Reid Poll results, giving Mr. Harper the false impression he could win an election, did the unthinkable. He called a no confidence vote yesterday in the House of Commons, defeated the reigning 38th Parliament, forcing an election, and ultimately another feeble Conservative attempt to dethrone the almighty Liberals. Standing on a platform of running an accountable government, by cutting taxes while providing more for Canadians, a renewed partnership with the provinces and territories, more spending in the military, and of course, strong opposition toward gay marriage.

However, what the key stances of the platform really should read, are as follows. Accountable Government, on the basis the Conservatives (well, this incarnation) have never, EVER run a government. Hence, no reference for accountability, and hence, not accountable for anything. The Conservatives want to cut taxes while providing more. Spend more while making less. Hmm. Anyone who has ever lived on a budget will know that this is impossible. A renewed partnership with all provinces and territories, by delegating the tricky province of Quebec to seperatists, letting them seperate, and hopefully we can get along well enough to import poutine to the rest of Canada. More spending in the military, so that we can peacefully join with the USA a la Austria joining with Germany prior to WWII. And finally, the main selling point for the moral side of the religious right, opposition to gay marriage. Just like in the previous election, Harper is playing to the west, ignoring the east, giving the finger to Quebec, which means, once again, Ontario is the only battleground. And even though many Ontarians are pathetic Leaf fans, they're not stupid enough to all vote Harper and bring in a God-forsaken Conservative government.

Next brings us the mighty Jack Layton, leader of the New Democratic Party. Often referred to as the moral conscience of the Liberals, the actual basis of the NDP could be a serious threat to the Liberals. With, again, one major exception. The vote boils down to Ontario. Yup, the dogma of Canadian politics. Leaf fans rule the vote. Heck, they voted Ken Dryden, the ex club President, into a seat in the latest Parliament (even though Kenny is a traitor from the club he played for, les Canadiens). With no other stronghold, like the other three parties, Layton can only do best as spoiler, winning enough seats to keep a party from winning a majority.

Which brings us to the most honest man in Canadian politics, Gilles Duceppe. In fact, he may be the most honest politician on the face of the planet. It's simple. A vote for the Bloc Quebecois is a step closer to Quebec seperating and becoming a sovereign state. The scary bit is there is enough of Canada who hates Quebec, that if the Bloc ran outside of Quebec, Duceppe would ironically become Prime Minister. As it stands, however, the Bloc only runs in their home Province, and thus limits the Liberals to a handful of seats, and none for the other parties.

Which leaves us with our beloved Prime Minister, the Right Honourable Paul Martin, and the Liberal Party of Canada. At the end of the Gomery Report, Martin and former Prime Minister Jean Cretien were branded as crooks. And the irony? Voting for Martin and the Liberals is the lesser of two evils. Though Harper is accountable, that visage of him in the cowboy hat just reminds me too much of a certain leader just south of our border. Now who could that be, who could it possibly be? Maybe...


Yes, the ultimate flaw of Mr. Harper. He's too much like the Antichrist Bush.

I remember part of an old saying, where one should not discuss politics with friends. Ahh, Harper, what suicide. You're the one who forced the election, and all this pointless debate about the same mundane issues. And you set up Martin to delay the election nearly a month longer than previous, one-month election campaigns. Martin will now be perceived as the saviour, keeping the actual vote away from the holidays.

Looks like you buried yourself again, Steve. I'm sure Bush can get you a job at Unocal once your political career is over.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Haven't we already played Quebec a dozen times?

Well, it appears it hasn't even been 8 yet, though it seems every other game is another grudge match against the hostage hockey team of the US, the Quebec Nordiques.

But first, down to last night's business. The hangover has FINALLY worn off, and when all was said and done, Phoenix pulled a fast won, and upset the mighty Canucks (note, not ducks), by a score of 2-1, a much different mark than what the Bert-accu-scoreTM had predicted, a 6-2 mark.

Hmm. In the game, there were 44 minutes in penalties, which seems to be the norm for the 'Nucks, as it seems the referees didn't get the memo, stating the Bertuzzi rule applies to vicious penalties to Bertuzzi, not to the Canucks as a whole team. There was even two simultaneous fights after a big, though legal, hit. But something was odd. The referees, in their biased, anti-Canadian glory, instead of charging 4 five minute penalties, they gave both Vancouver players double minors, while giving the Coyotes only single minors. It seems the five minute major is something going out the window.

And with the number 5 flying out of the window, five goals of Vancouver's flew out the window, giving a final score of 2-1 for the Coyotes, giving us:

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight's game, the Nordiques must be suffering from poutine withdrawal, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 4 Quebec 2

Cha Gheill!!
Vote early and vote often...

Yes, I'm up for the Canadian Blog Awards. Some nice person nominated me, for best humour blog, and as such, the first round of voting is NOW. GO VOTE FOR ME NOW...

Click the Maple Leaf (not the hockey team, thank god) to vote:

That is all.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Things That Make Me Happy

As per this post at Dawn's site, I have decided to duplicate the post for myself.

But yes, with my own answers, for the smartasses out there. Don't make me get Red to put a foot in your ass!

Anyhow, as such, here we go, with 8 answers, just as Dawn gave.

Things That Make Me Happy

1. My Dawn. And for those reading who like to interject their two cents, it's not Dorn, Dworn, Dawnagan, et. al. Dawn is that one person who never prejudged me, never wanted to change me, who accepted me for who I am and can love me truly unconditionally. She fills that empty space in my soul (yes, as you all should know, I do have something of a dark past), she is the one positive thing that keeps me going no matter what.

2. Being Canadian. Nothing against our neighbors to the south, but seeing how messy things have gotten down there in the last five years especially, every day I count my lucky stars that I am Canadian. Aside from being naturally superior hockey players, we are truly a free society. Need proof? What is the likelihood that someone like Jon Stewart, a wonderfully gifted satirist, would be able to walk right up to George W. Bush, and give him an Emmy, as a joke, declaring indirectly that he was only "acting" as a leader, not being one. Probably running an odd of about, oh, let's say, zero. Well, that has actually happened here in Canada. Except it was a Gemini (the Canadian award that is like the Emmy).

3. Working in film. God the first 30 years of my life really sucked ass. Why? Because it took me forever to find out what I really wanted to do. What a waste, really. But now, each day I get to work on a film set of some form, it brings so much life and energy back, like making up for lost time. It is what I was meant to do. Period.

4. Living in British Columbia. The last 20 odd years in Ontario were just too much. Leaf fans who think they have a brain when it comes to hockey. Nowhere good to ski. A very poor attitude towards those whose native tongue is French. Pollution in the air thicker than poutine. And mostly, being in self denial about wanting to be just like New York. Hence, my imposed monicker on Toronto. America Jr. I love the mountains. I love to ski. I love the Canucks. I love the laid back atmosphere. Again, after 30 plus years, I have found my home.

5. My Parents. Yes, I probably within the context of a highly dysfunctional family, but hearing my parents voices, being 4,500 km apart, does remind me that though through all our differences, that blood is thicker than water.

6. My sis Jana. Though various concerns caused my parents to cease procreating after me (and for those of you who feel the need to take the piss over this, I've heard it ALL before), my parents had no more children. So in addition to living in butt-fuck nowhere, in the middle of the sticks, with no friends, let alone any neighbors around, I had no siblings either. Just me and the cat until the folks got home from work. It was a very lonely way to grow up. Luckily, now, I've met Jana, who has become like a sister to me. She's become a fantastic friend and the conscience I need from time to time to not let my ego get the best of me.

7. Todd and Mandy. Todd has been my friend, well, every day of my life. He was born four months earlier than I (enjoying 33 yet Todd :P), and our parents were friends throughout school. The only regret was that we didn't live closer in our youth. Luckily though, through all the changes, we've stuck together tried and true. Now married to Mandy, I see how she makes him complete, knowing they toughed the hard times made it easier to believe in Dawn and I when times were dire.

8. Star Wars. Yup, Jana, you can call me gay any time now. But going to see Star Wars, on opening day, with my Dad back in '77 is one of my first memories, one I hold dear in my heart. And the one memory that put me on my current course.

That is all.
The land of the reborn bird

Yes, Bert and Co. are now in ever warm (and dry... I could use more than this one day without rain) Phoenix, Arizona, prepared to dish out even more lumps to rookie head coach Wayne Gretzky. God, I can't wait until my first film tops the $100 Million domestic mark. Then I can take hockey sabbaticals. I guess I have to get cracking now. Don't worry. More news to come really soon.

As for the unfinished business, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for Thursday's match was 5-1 for Vancouver, whereas the actual mark was a closer, but still favourable 3-2, with a little help from the referees, allowing a close call for a net off the posts, and another for a puck that may have trickled in, though not seen. Finally, the refs realize the Bertuzzi rule does not apply to THE WHOLE CANUCKS TEAM.

In unrelated newsTM, I spent three days working on a construction site, which will be a condominium high rise building. What I found really odd was that along with the "missing" thirteenth floor, there was no 4th, 14th, or 24th floors either. It seems that the Arabic character 4, which we use, is very similar to the symbol of death in the Chinese alphabet, and as such, is unlucky, and not used to mark floors here in Vancouver, as there is a large population from the Orient. But what I did find odd is that the number 22 is still included, because numerologically, it is also the number 4.

As such, to keep the two 2's from adding to four, 2 was subtracted from Vancouver's score, and two was added to San Jose's score (thus negating each other, and bringing balance), and giving us a score of...

Drum roll please...

Vancouver 3 San Jose 2

Which gives us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, and Gretzky's school of hard knocks for coaching, Vancouver will enjoy the dryness, and less rain, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 6 Phoenix 2

Cha Gheill!!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Battle of the Canadian Divas

And FYI, this is not about Diva's like this person here, though I have to ask how a "devil" *cough* is a Diva?

No, I'm talking about this fantastic singer

And, this one, whose voice rings through the man-repellant film, Titanic.

Well, it seems Dawn and myself are at a disagreement about this one. I prefer Shania, whom I feel has more performing energy and, well, is more attractive. Dawn, on the other hand, feels that age has caught up to Shania, and Celine is both more attractive, and furthermore, a better singer.

Now, singing is in the ear of the beholder (mainly because the eye isn't the intended organ used to listen to a song), so I'll leave it up to you, the commenting public (okay there's five of you apart from Dawn and I, and here's crossing fingers someone replies).

Though I will leave you with this one parting comment. Dawn believes I'm stacking the deck picking the not quite so flattering image of Celine. However, I believe it's harder to find a bad pic of Shania than it is of Celine. And, if my euclidian proof is acurate,

Thursday, November 24, 2005
Who the hell needs a power ranking anyway?

Something in the world of hockey has been irking me of late. Well, amongst one of the five bloggers who actually reads my tripe, Peter. A proud supporter of the Dead Red Wings, and with our whose team is better argument, which I've won twice so far this year, as the Canucks are too much for the Wings to handle, keeps bringing up the NHL power Rankings, just like in a post such as this.

It's funny. When I watch Hockey Night in Canada on CBC, nobody talks about "power rankings" or the like. The only sore spot these days is Coaches Corner, as it has become a sell out to the one American team in Canada, the Toronto Make Me Laughs. Too bad Vancouver, Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary, and Edmonton are better. No more "Canada's Team" for America Jr.


I rolled over the actual link, and found this amusing tidbit. The rankings Peter reads is from Fox Sports. And being from one of the few states in America with an actual hockey tradition, I had expected more from him. How soon we all forget the blasphemy that Fox brought to hockey broacasts. Yes, the computer enhanced glow around the puck, aka the glow in the dark Fox puck, which allowed obviously blind American viewers better follow the hard to see small puck. To this I ask one question. How hard is it to see a black disc on a white surface?

But Fox, in my honest opinion, is still bitter at the revenue loss they suffered by a deal cut thirty years ago. Yes, young, aspiring film director George Lucas, trying to put out Star Wars, signed a deal with Fox, who didn't 100% believe in the film, signed over all royalties if Lucas independently financed the film.

Oops. Anyhow, to make up for the multi-billion dollar error, Fox expanded to broadcasting. The NFL diversified the operation to sports, but the true gauge of the Fox empire is the Fox News Network. Yes, the one news source that makes CNN look unbiased. Nothing like having an agenda along the lines of Triumph of the Will.

To make matters worse for Fox, I checked CNNSI, TSN, and ESPN's sites, and all had power ratings. And they were all different.

I guess the power rankings really are subjective at best. So much for claims that "my team is best because of a power ranking". Also, it seems Fox is not a reputable broadcaster. Stick to films. And for certain Red Wing fans, see you in the playoffs, if you can avoid the recently traditional "Detroit Early Exit".

That is all.
Meh-mes I stole from Dawn

The first, which she will agree with the description, but not the colour.

Your Eyes Should Be Gray

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive

What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul
What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

As for the next, Dawn and I are the same...

You're A Crazy Drunk

When you drink, you get wrecked - and it ain't pretty.
What Kind of Drunk Are You?

This one is a month and a half late...

You Are The Stuffing

You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together.
People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.
What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

This one just isn't me... I think...

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy
Those who like you enjoy a contradiction
What Kind of Pie Are You?

That is all.
This just totally dashes all my hopes....

Yup, it's finally all over. My hopes that romance shall live on has died. Sarcastic morning and afternoon drive DJ's are vocally crying in their beer. Hopes for love is over.


Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are splitting up. I just can't believe it. That romance was destined to last forever.

Of course, when I mean forever, what I really should be saying is they should have split eons ago. That marriage didn't have a foundation to last more than 1 year, but it dragged on for three.

Which, funnily enough, was the score of the Canucks Tuesday, where Vancouver beat Chicago 3-1. And to honour this tragic marriage being put out of it's misery, the Canucks scored three goals, and let one in, giving us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM

As for tonight's match, the Sharks come up to the Garage to be totally embarassed again by the Canucks. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 5 San Jose 1

Cha Gheill!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
MCF Questionaire Episode III - Revenge of the Questions

Though truly he dubbed it Part II for some reason. Maybe the count started later than I figured.

Pfftt. I work in film. Reality is for those who have no creativity.

As such, here we go.

M.C.F.A.T. Volume II

1) [Down there] in the U.S., Thanksgiving is nearly upon [them]. Name any one thing in your life that you were ungrateful for, and how you feel about it now.
For not fitting in, even now, and feeling disjointed with my surroundings, and more importantly, myself. As such, I went through trying to be good at a lot of things, that although show interest in some areas here and there, like science, psychology, sociology, even sales and business, and though film always captivated me, it took thirty years of my life to realize it was my future, and more importantly, gave me the confidence to pursue such a lofty, improbable goal. Even now, working (somewhat) in my field of choice, because of the delay, I am quite disjointed with my environment. Thank God for Dawn. She makes the pain go away. Every second of the day.

2) What kind of superhero would you be? An inspirational icon like Captain America or Superman, or someone dark and tortured like Wolverine or the Batman?
Not that it has been made blatantly obvious by the answer to the last question, but someone dark and tortured, and though Dawn will disagree, I would have to go with the Batman. And I say "The" Batman, as I am making an attempt to call to the darkest, most vigilante incarnation of the Dark Knight. There are true horrors in each of our pasts, we are all loners by nature, but the Batman, like myself, has always been far more focused on his dark past and how it has predertermined his future. Every thought, feeling, and action is directed toward it. It chews at him, eats him every day, and God forbid you ever cross his path. Or mine.

3) What's the weirdest or freakiest dream you've ever had? Have you ever had a recurring dream?
I don't have many freaky dreams, which is rather odd being a Lynch fan. However, I have a recurring Lynch location in my dreams, with recurring characters. That would be the Red Room from Twin Peaks, featuring myself (as Coop), Bob, Mike, and the Arm.

4) If you were chosen to be among the first pioneers to settle in a space station orbiting the Earth, would you accept and if so, what role would you play in the community?
Yes, as moving 4,500 km out west has taught me, the change out to the frontier, like the move of western Europe to the New World, has given me such a fresh, new start. As for my role, the documentarian assembling video footage and story and fact so that generations can experience and learn from our experiences.

5) No! Not here! Anywhere but here! You swore you'd never come back, and now suddenly here you are! Where are you?
Windsor, Ontario, Canada, to reap vigilante justice like the Batman. Maybe.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Bert's 11th hour

No, not another suspension for Todd Betuzzi. Rather, 1 hour to go until the 'Nucks play their second original six team for the year, the Chicago Blackhawks. But more about that in a minute.

As for Sunday Afternoon, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was 10-0, seeing the Canucks eat roast duck in Anaheim, where the outcome, after a plethora of penalties, ended up being 3-2, still for the blessed Canucks.

Now this game was out of town, giving a reasonably full crowd for the CFL West Division final, seeing the Lions host the Eskimos. The Lions, having started the season 11-0, ended it 1-5, and lost this match to Edmonton 28-23. The Eskimos, who have a storied tradition of success, won the Grey Cup in the first year I watched CFL "Canadian Rugby", being 1982. Removing the digits 8 and 2 from each tally of the above score, we are left with 2-3, favouring BC. And since the Lions play right beside GM Place, the Canucks inherited the score from BC, and as a result, we have 3-2 for Vancouver over Anaheim, giving us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, in an hour, the Canucks play host to Chicago in the Garage. The 'Hawks are completely outclassed by the mighty Canucks, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 7 Chicago 0

Cha Gheill!!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Meh-me, Episode II for the day. Attack of the back posts.

Seeing as my better half, Dawn, has tagged me with this meme, and Family Guy is now over for the evening (along with Trailer Park Boys), I decided to indulge her with this meme. That and I really have no choice.

As such...

1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence, or as close to it as you can.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

Well, this is the 5th sentence from my 23rd post


And just to add context, for the click the link impared, it was an added description to the following, for Chai Tea:

"A blissful blend of black tea, delicious warm spices, honey, Madagascar vanilla, and milk. Served cold, it's frothy and refreshing. Served warm, it's soothing and mellow."

As for tagees, lemme think for a second.

1. Todd
2. Heather
3. Laura
4. Nugget
5. Wizard

That is all.
A Wonderful Esoteric Canadian Post

Ahh, the humour of Rick Mercer. But what a horrible blogger.

And speedreader. Just check some "facts" Rick found in a recent speedread of an article in the Globe and Mail.
Justin Trudeau, the son of former Prime Minister John Turner, ...

Justin recently took a break from taping his wildly popular CTV show Canadian Idol...

Elevated to an enhanced spiritual state after consuming rare hallucinogenic lichens living nearby...
To get the full effect, check out the full post by Mr. Mercer found here. Thank you Rick, for making esoteric Canadian humour brilliant.

Meh, here we go... found at the World Wide Rant


You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy.

You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful, irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way.

Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably open another bottle and say there’s no contest.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.
For the love of the game.

As with most things in my life, this story begins with hockey. But, for the ugghh-sayers (I'm figuring some Yanks and the lot of the UK who reads this, being three of you), this is still understandable, so you may read on.

Having said that, I'll assume you know we had no National Hockey League season last year due to labour and union strife, and the end result has been that teams must operate under a salary cap, which limits the amount of money a team can spend on players, and hopefully level the playing field, making more competitive matches, and supporting teams earn a profit again (yup, financially, it's that bad).

Needless to say, the players felt they got a raw deal, and saw a change of guard with the union boss. However, this succession has loopholes in it, and the players whinged about the changing of the guard. Now, another resignation, as Steve Larmer has resigned as head of player relations. All of this leads me to ask this one question.

What ever happened to operating for the love of what you do?

Now, fair enough, even the best of players rarely play much into their forties, and are trying to build a nest egg. To which I ask two questions. One, is it at all possible to save some of those millions a year they earn (at the fan's expense)? And two, if your income can't be properly financed into a early retirement income, has any thought been put into working in hockey (or any aspect at all) after your career in the NHL is done?

At this point I feel I should bring in my point of view. Currently, to a certain extent, am at a sort of crossroads. Being a recently graduated film student, and been ingrained with an independant, business like sense for film, I have been appalled by certain realities here in the Vancouver film industry. They include, but are not limited to, the "not my job" mentality, people putting their own priorities above those of the film (which links to number one), confidence erroding tactics, backstabbing, and more recently, the inter-union politics (there are 4 unions/guilds that exist on any one production in Vancouver) that exist, and have in the past, brought high budget features to a standstill.

Whatever happened to being commited to the picture, the artwork, and the crew?

Such noble elements have gone out of the window in this uber professional environment. Is money the root of all evil? Even my better half and I have fought, and bickered, which at the end of the day boils back to money (or more appropriately the lack thereof). And I am pondering this as now, with full time film work now slowed a considerable deal due to the number of productions wrapped, I have free time to use what remaining brain cells I have to put together some foundation work for short films, short and long subject documentaries, music videos (well, if I ever hook up with a band, or if Will needs me to shoot one for him), and coporate video. It boils back to what a certain Genny Op (one of the good guys also, by the way) told me. Don't wait to ascend to said level. Be it now. And as I want to direct and produce ultimately, I have to start now.

With film being such a collaborative artform, I need to find the crew and key creative people who believe in my vision, ie out of the union. Thankfully, I think I found my first, a co-worker at Best Buy, a graphic design/multimedia expert with a host of NLE editing experience to boot. It's what this country needs to jump start a stagnant, indigenious film production industry. Thinking beyond the box, and a lack of dependance on the American dollar.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
What a day in football...

Three's all around. Yes, the perennial top 4 in English Football all won by scoring three goals today. Check the scores, starting off with my beloved Reds:

Liverpool 3-0 Portsmouth
Wigan 2-3 Arsenal
Charlton 1-3 Man Utd
Chelsea 3-0 Newcastle

Talk about trippy, huh?

Now, in unrelated news, I have been a bit lazy, and haven't done much reading as of late. The last book I have read (at least some of) is Star Wars and Philosophy, which had a chapter about Star Wars and the existance of God. To avoid getting super-religious about the matter, God was described as one who time does not function in the same way it functions for us. To make a simple analogy, God would experience all of history all at once, like seeing all frames of a film at once. As such, future events, like in sports, can effect past events, like in sports (wink wink). Bearing that in mind, this odd occurence in football created an anomalie filled by the Kings-Canucks game on Thursday. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the contest was rendered useless by divine intervention.

Now, since all four teams scored three goals, the Kings and Canucks shared six of the goals each, giving a 6-6 mark. Now in medieval times, Kings were closest to God. As such, the Kings sustain only 1 of the three goals against, penalizing them from their score, bringing the Kings score down to 5 goals, and the Canucks sustain the other two, giving them 4. As such, the final score of the game is 5-4 for the Kings, which gives us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For the Canuck's next match tomorrow, we swim into the Duck Pond in Anaheim, California, to face the silliest named team in hockey, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. Bert is looking to eat duck soup for dinner, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 10 Mighty Ducks 0

Cha Gheill!!

Post script: My condolences to Peter of Down For Repairs, whose Red Wings fell victim to the worst team in hockey, the St. Louis Blues, by a 3-2 mark. I just have a question. If the Democrats are losers (according to Peter), and the Wings are losers, does that make the Red Wings Democrats?
Friday, November 18, 2005
Another rare day off...

And to start with, I have a confession. Well, a confession to those of you who don't know me. For those who do, this is redundant.

I am a fan of...

yes, none other than Harry Potter. Not that there's anything wrong with it. It is smartly written (and shot), yet has that sense of youth that makes me feel younger, even if for a time. Brilliant, I say. Brilliant.

Anyhow, Dawn and I went to see the most recent film adaptation, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire today, on opening day, extending my opening day streak for filmologies to include the Star Wars Saga, The Lord of the Rings, Austin Powers, and now all four Harry Potter films. Sadly vacant, I was a foetus for the original Godfather, only a year and change for the Godfather Part II, though I did see the Godfather Part III on opening day in 1990, on Christmas day (god Mom loved me for that... NOT!).

As not to spoil the film for all you eager movie goers, I will say that I found the film to be the best of them all. All four films were incredibly well done, and I am probably attributing the maturing of the character and storyline to the overall score of the film. Having said that, I'm not quite looking forward to year five, though year six, The Half Blood Prince, should be brilliant.

This brings me to my real point. Yes, by the way, I know I'm long winded. You'll live. Meh. I've read, and heard Dawn comment on a number of internet reviews about the most recent Potter film. The overall gist was that there was some level of disappointment because certain bits from the book were left out, or this was included when this wasn't. Hearing all of this reminds me of this man.

Well, okay, cartoon character. Yes, Comic Book Guy. The guy who whinges and complains about every continuity error, story discrepancy, and mild flaw between comic/story and film. This man is the scourge of the film world and should be shot. What do you think the odds are that all the negative posts about the latest Potter film are from Comic Book Guy wannabe's? The actual amusing aspect is when I overhear said individuals in a theater, where they are trying to act like they know things about film, and then I in about 5 minutes take all their confidence and flush it down the toilet, and ask them to respect the artform.

As such, I leave everyone with these ideas for thought.

1. The best book to film adaptations that exist typically are short stories to feature films. Just solely based on one premise. The short story does not need to be edited to fit the typical 2 hour timeframe a feature sits within. It actually allows room for some extra elaboration to really bring the story home. Now the Goblet of Fire is 636 pages. As such, a good part of the book has to be edited out for the film to exist within it's 2 1/2 hour time frame. As such, go in expecting this. It will make the film experience more enjoyable.

2. Don't be that guy. And by that guy, I mean Comic Book Guy. Otherwise you'll end up abstinant (and not voluntarily) for decades.

3. Never let anyone else make up your mind about a film. If you have to know, go see it. And don't pirate it. Actually watch a legitimate copy. Us film crew types lose jobs to piracy.

That is all. For now.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Wow I forgot I had this

And I mean this.

And there seems to be a new post, in the form of this.

However, only the gifted few will be able to see it.

That is all.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I loved the Peanuts as a kid

And thanks to Tales of the Opiated Sherpa for finding this meme.

You are Woodstock!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Though I don't 100% agree with the results. Meh.
Quick Game Recap

Ahh, the first game in a three game road trip to the sunny LESS RAINY state of California for the 'Nuckles. And sure enough, they did not disappoint. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the contest was set at 7-2, favouring Canada's team, whereas the actual result was 3-1, still favouring Jovo, Bert and co.

As for the mild discrepancy, first off, the game was on Pay-Per-View, which frankly is the biggest slap in the face for a hockey fan, ripe after a season that never was. As such, that penalized both teams by allowing only half their scores, now to 3.5-1. Now obviously, we can't have half a score, and in the cost cutting measures, such as salary cap, that must be implemented, the half a goal is rounded down, which gives us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For tomorrow, we slide right into the Staples Centre, to visit the second team Gretzky made. However, their new main man, Jeremy Roenick, is a citizen of that second rate hockey country south of the border, and, as such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 9 Kings 0

Cha Gheill!!
Sunday Dead Wings Recap

I apologize, I don't have my normal flair, this week has been a little pressing so far. However, for Sunday's game.

The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was 14-0 for the Canucks over the Dead Red Wings, where the result we all experienced was 4-1, still for the colossal Canucks, Canada's NEW team.

Well, this one is just plain simple. This score is more like a NFL/CFL score than a hockey score, so we have to account for the differences between American Rugby Football and Canadian Rugby Football. Canadian Football only has three downs, wherease American has four. As such, one goal was given to the Red Wings for the extra down the NFL has. Also, the field in the CFL is metric, 100 metres, thus giving 110 yards, as opposed to the 100 yard field in the NFL. As such, that difference was taken away from the Canucks score, which, after metric conversion, gives us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For tonights game, Vancouver travels to San Jose, to face the Sharks. What on earth does San Jose have to do with hockey? Well, Bert and Co. will travel to northern California to teach them, don't mess with Canadians, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM shall be

Canucks 7 Sharks 2

Cha Gheill!!
Monday, November 14, 2005
Eddie Guerrero 1967 - 2005

I am deeply saddened by the passing of Eddie Guerrero. And before I go on, I'll answer the obvious questions. Yes, I like wrestling. Yes, I know the outcomes are pre-determined. But, none the less, I have been a viewer of the action in the ring for over 20 years.

Eddie was more than a tremendous in-ring talent. He is also someone who has brought himself back from the brink fighting alcohol and drug addiction. He is a tribute to the human character for this. No matter how much support one has, you still have to make the decision to fight and stick with it. He has always been a constant reminder of how persistance and the strength of the will can help one overcome any obstacle.

He was also a great entertainer, whose presence filled any arena he entered. Wether baby-face or heel, he always played the role well, and was always loved by the fans.

Farewell Eddie, until we meet again. You shall be sorely missed.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
What a blur

After a wonderful shoot on Thursday, followed by a statuatory holiday Friday, I almost forgot there was a travesty game on Thursday. Yes, Quebec was released, temporarily, from the imperialistic Yankee control (much like the situation in Iraq), played the mighty Canucks (not Ducks, thankfully), and shocked the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game, registering a 5-3 mark, upsetting the future Stanley Cup Champions, where the expected result was 6-3 for the guys not held captive by the evil American empire.

Well, the game was played November 10, one day before Rememberance Day, whose date was chosen to commemerate our glourious dead. As such, Vancouver's goal total is reduced by one, giving 5-3 for Vancouver. And, as a freak act of God, the rain stopped late afternoon to reveal clear blue skies, bucking the 5 month all rain trend the lower mainland gets, thus reversing the weather fortune, and thusly, reversing the scores, converting the score to be 5-3 for the Nordiques, which gives us

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for our next game, tomorrow at 7:00 PM, we have the team with inflated success, along with all the geritol you could ever hope for. Yes, the Red Wings will be wheelchaired into GM Place to face the mighty Canucks. As such, being on an unprecidented 3 game losing streak, and with Todd Bertuzzi, future Hart Trophy Winner, eager to get things going again, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 14 Detroit 0

Cha Gheill!!
Ahhh, such lovely filler

Yup, before I really start smoking writing, I've been looking at my play counts for iTunes, and just decided to post the top 20 played songs on that list.

Here they are.

1. Romantic Traffic The Spoons
2. Weapon of Choice Fatboy Slim
3. You Were Always on my Mind Pet Shop Boys
4. The Lonely Shepherd Zamfir
5. The River The Tea Party
6. Interstate Love Song Stone Temple Pilots
7. Crazy Train Pat Boone
8. Connection Elastica
9. The Globe Big Audio Dynamite
10. Bigmouth Strikes Again The Smiths
11. Cannonball The Breeders
12. Du Hast Rammstein
13. The Bazaar The Tea Party
14. There's No Other Way Blur
15. Chemical World Blur
16. Papa's Got A Brand New Pig Bag Pig Bag
17. Give It Up KC and the Sunshine Band
18. I'm Too Sexy Right Said Fred
19. Sycamore Trees David Lynch & Jimmy Scott
20. Keep On Rocking In The Free World Neil Young
21. Quiet The Smashing Pumpkins
22. Comfortably Numb Pink Floyd
23. The Reflex Duran Duran (I was at Maple Leaf Gardens the night they shot the music video :P)
24. I Am Superman REM
25. Killing In The Name Rage Against the Machine

Let's see if this changes any for next week.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Meme's to fill in the writer's block... again, and again, and, well, so forth...

Stolen erm... borrowed from Suzie (no blog addy... at least that I know of...)

What you do full time:
During the non-winter season, I'm a permittee Lighting Technician through IATSE 891 here in Vancouver. Off season, well, I'm still looking for something seasonal to stop doing construction labour.

What you would rather be doing:
Working on directing some film or documentary. What I should be doing pre-production for right now. Nothing like a ten minute sabbatical, eh?

Do you like banana sandwiches:
I don't like banana, so I'll let you figure out the blank on this one...

Do you like banana hammocks:
What the duece are you talking about? Damn Lois, damn the broccoli, and damn the banana hammocks!!

What you're listening to right now:
Sycamore Trees by Jimmy Scott, co-written by David Lynch.

The last thing you ate:
A quarter chicken dinner combo at Swiss Chalet.

Do you wish on stars:
Not in the traditional sense, though I do engage in ritual exercises to improve myself daily.

Do the wishes come true:
Well, I'm one of the only ones from my school to continue working in my chosen field (well, chosen industry).

Color of crayon you would be:
Black or green, or a mix of both.

What it's like outside right now:
It's Vancouver, well, okay, Burnaby, so without opening the door or looking out the window, I'll have to go with raining.

Last person who phoned you:
IATSE dispatch.

Last person you phoned:
IATSE dispatch. Yup, my life is so exciting, isn't it?

What can you say about the person who sent this to you:
Well, I think if Suzie wants to work in film, she better get her and Garo's butt out west already.

How old are you:
Thirty... erm... something... I refuse to divulge any more on the grounds it may age me.

Favorite drink ever:
Stella Artois!!. It kicks Guiness's ass!

Favourite sport to watch on TV:
Hockey, especially Sunday when Vancouver completely dismantles Detroit. And as some funny trivia, Detroit is named suchly as the French described the river between Windsor and Detroit as le detroit, which translates as "Strait".

Natural or coloured hair:
No girlie questions!! I'm a guy. I don't mess with the hair. I just get it cut when Dawn gets annoyed.

Do you wear contacts/glasses:
Yes I do. To read, do computer work, camera work, and the like.

5 Zebra Finches. The parents, Vito and Gracie, and the kids, who have just recently made an appearence, haven't been named yet as Dawn has not quite ascertained the gender of the three offspring.

Fave month:
August. When I first met Dawn face to face.

Fave season:
L'hiver, pour la jeu de hockey est le ski d'alpine!

Favourite food:
Penne arrabiata.

Last movie you watched at the theatre:
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and soon to be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which both Dawn and I want to see on opening night!

Last movie on DVD:
The story of my life, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and Jana, no gay jokes please.

Favourite day each year:
May 3. Dawn and my anniversary.

Date you blow your candles out:
Every night. Oops, you mean my birthday, don't you. 19 December.

What you do to vent:
Feel the hate swell within me, becoming closer and closer to the dark side of the Force.

Your favourite toy as a child:
My Star Wars toys. Can you say dork yet?

Hugs or kisses:
Only from my Dawn.

Cherry or Blueberry:
Neither. Yup, still a dork, and you can add freak now too.

Do u want your friends to email you back:
Seeing as I'm converting (well kinda) an email to a blog post, just please link back.

Who you're in love with:
Dawn. Not spelled Dworn, Dorn, or Dawnagan.

Who you hate:
Hmm... Dubya, all his gang, and a few who crossed me in the past few years.

Living arrangements:
In a one bedroom flat with Dawn.

Last time you cried:
A few weeks back when Dawn and I had a serious row.

What is on the floor of your closet:
A bunch of crap we can't find a proper home for right now. Yup, sad, sad, sad.

Under your bed:
Carpet, concrete, soil, gravel, granite, feldspar, if you go deep enough, molten lava.

Friend you have had the longest:
Todd. Known him literally ALL MY LIFE!!

What you did last night:
Finished up a day call, drove home, and smoked a fatty.

What you're afraid of:
Heights in unusual circumstances, like riding Genie lifts. Dying also.

Plain, cheesy or spicy Burgs:
The Good-Morning Burger. We take a quarter pound of ground beef, cook it in rich, creamery butter. Then we top it with cheese, bacon, ham, and a fried egg.

Favourite car:
Lamboghini Diablo Roadster 1999.

Favourite dog breed:
I'm not so much a dog fan, but Dawn loves Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, though her "favorite" tends to change each day that ends in the letter "Y".

Number of keys on your key ring:
Without looking, five.

What they're for:
My parents house, our flat, the car, and two keys for dad's work. And a key-fob for the car.

Years you've been at your current job:
Five months.

Favourite day of the week:
Five Dollar Fridays. Too bad the teamster's always win. Gits, slowing down the production and all...

Where do you go after you die:
In the ground...

The last thing you read:
Star Wars and Philosophy. Add "Total Nerd" to the resume, okay?

Are you more likely to say Yes or No?
Neither, I choose to say RIGHT instead!
Apparently I have a bad attitude about today

November 11. A solemn day here in Canada. It is, as such, Rememberance Day. Commemerated and observed yearly here in the Commonwealth of Nations, which includes Canada, on the day the first World War ended in 1918. Back in Quebec and Ontario, the day really meant a couple of things. We bought poppies and wore them on our jackets or sweaters, and also, there were assemblies at school, which meant, as us kids, we got out of some class (though by my luck, it was usually one I actually liked). However, moving west to the New World (well, okay, the beautiful province of British Columbia, the day is treated as a statuatory holiday.

Maybe we have more vets here in BC than we do in the ROC (that's rest of Canada for those of you from America or America Junior Toronto). I do see way more of these

driving along the streets of the lower mainland than I ever saw of these

back in my 25 year temporary residence, being Ontario. Yet, no matter what province, there are great ceremonies honouring the ultimate sacrifice of our countrymen and countrywomen in the service of the protection of our freedoms and way of life, to which, myself and all other Canadians are eternally grateful. As to wether this day should be a paid holiday or not, is NOT the subject of this debate.

What does come to mind though, is even though the day is a statuatory holiday in this province, is two things. Should all businesses close, giving ALL Canadians an opportunity to observe this solemn day? Well, on a failed expedition to Mount Seymour today, Dawn and I discovered that most stores, shops, and restaurants are in fact open today. So, as such, if some businesses are deemed acceptable to open, should it be manditory that employees are paid time and a half, or double time, as an exchange for working on this holiday? To the latter, I would normally say yes.

However, for me, all this internal monologue and debate started a week ago, working on Da Vinci's City Hall, where I have made friends with a good chunk of the crew. This show, funnily enough, is the most highly discounted show in Vancouver, paying 18% less than the normal pay scale for film crew professionals. As such, I had a very intriguing discussion with one of the crew over a beer in the electrics truck after shooting was wrapped for the evening. "Working this show is like working every so often for free", and using my math, every seventh to tenth day, as most shows in town are discounted a certain percentage. Which leads me to my real point. The attitude of the Union professional vs. the attitude of the Independant professional.

For those of you who have been following my saga closely (yes, all three of you, Dawn included), I am a permitee to the film technician's union, IATSE Local 891, heeding the advice of my mentors back in film school. With many individuals having dreams of directing, writing, and producing films, I was given the advice to commit myself to a discipline within the industry, while building my director's reel on the side, thus still working in the field of my choice while attempting a lateral shift. Since our union operates primarily upon a seniority based system, and coupled with the greatest constant of film in Canada, that America hates snow and cold, work has slowed in this, the most wonderful month of November, to a point where I don't get enough calls to shows to foot the bills. So, during my idle film days, I have taken to working with a temporary labour company to make some green, while applying for a winter seasonal job.

As you can probably deduce, when I got the Da Vinci's call, I was estatic. Maybe it's a case of the grass being greener on the other side, but when I can work in the field of my choice, and get paid $19 per hour (that's after the 18% discount, just for you all to keep track) over $9 per hour, I will never complain about. Many people in the Union out here, however, see the $19 per hour as a huge insult, like they're working for free, and would rather do nothing that day. How bizarre.

Fast forward to yesterday. I got another film call, again to some excitement. And this was only a 5% discount, not 18%. Not that I'd complain either way. On the shuttle from crew park to set, I found myself in a conversation, learning that the show I was on yesterday (it's a TV show being made as a mid-season replacement) was shooting today, on a statuatory holiday. Silly, inexperienced, impetuous me, with glee that I may be called back for a second day, couldn't keep my mouth shut, let the fellow speaking that "I'd work [Friday]", to which, the fellow said, without hesitation, that "that's the wrong attitude to have", which was followed by a stern lecture in the sacrifices our glourious dead made for country and kin. Defence of my point of view, somewhat illustrated above, fell upon deaf ears, as the indoctrination continued. Even another jumped in and gave the 2 cents of "why don't you work an indie for free". Is it such a hard thing to understand, that I just want to be able to provide for myself and Dawn, and build a future together?

If I was working solely for a company, 9-5 type hours, I would be more inclined to agree with this fellow. But I'm not. Though IATSE is responsible for dispatching me to jobs, it is obvious I can't have the 9-5 mentality, but rather, a freelance, business owner's mentality, just like all the open shopkeepers Dawn and I saw along the streets today. Being a business owner in the past, I do realize the commitment needed to succeed in something like film, that it spans beyond the simple 40 hours per week. Film is in my blood. It is the professional reason I am here. That attitude will make me a good producer and director in the future.

As for now, maybe I'll just try harder to shut my yap. But, there was a good ending to it all. I got to meet a PA who shares my attitude on that set, and hopefully, a long professional partnership will emerge.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
MCF Questionaire Episode II

Originally set out by MCF, found via Wendy.

1) There's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that, for a few brief moments, you've experienced a taste of a super power, a one-time only psychic flash of a future event. The bad news is that you're now the only person on the planet who knows that an asteroid is going to collide with the Earth in three days. People are going to have a hard time believing your story--what do you do?

Well, in the sense of good news and bad news, the good news is I'd try everything humanly possible to spread the word. Seeing as I had three days, I'd try things such as Speaker's Corner, up to trying to attain airtime on CBC and the like, to try to spread the word fast so we can at least use the time to prepare as best as possible. The bad news is that I highly doubt anyone would listen to me if I was announcing the Canucks won the Stanley Cup, let alone the end of the world.


2) If you could be marooned on a desert island with any three sitcom stars, past or present, who would they be and why?

Seeing as it's sit-com's, and not animated implied in the question, I'll leave my answers as the actor, followed by the character that inspired the choice in parenthesis.

1. Jason Alexander (George Costanza). Hell, he has to have some discipline and self control. He won The Contest after all.

2. Rick Mercer (Richard Strong). He's the only executive producer at Pyramid who actually knows what's going on and ISN'T being hit on by Alan Roy (played by Peter Keleghan).

3. Danny Masterson (Steven Hyde). We have to have our source for herb, you know.

3) Who and what was your first pet? Alternately, if you've never had a pet, feel free to explain why.

Well, officially, I had a dog, for a day, when I was four (and I actually remember it through all the THC deformed brain cells... genius). He bit me and the day after, Dad gave him away. Can't remember the name, though. Meh.

4) What's the worst thing you've ever tasted, intentionally or otherwise?

On a culinary side of things, my Dad, the munga cake he is (okay I am too, well sort of), tried to make marinara sauce from tomato paste, without trying to make the paste into a sauce.

Ugghhh. If you can't cook Italian, don't try.

Non-culinary, probably my weekly bout with acid reflux really sucks ass.

5) After months of research, you finally perfect a cybernetic helmet that will allow its wearer to operate any vehicle with quick reflexes and unparalleled expertise. Such a device would have to be tested first, and you wouldn't risk anyone else's life but your own, noble scientist that you are. What do you drive/fly/sail first and where?

I would fly a stealth bomber to Rome with Dawn, and forget about the experiment, and sightsee for weeks. So there!
Meme's galore

You scored as Trajan. You are quite fortunate to rank as the emperor Trajan, possibly the greatest of Roman emperors. You have relentlessly expanded the empire and even humbled the mighty Parthian empire. Loved by all, vastly larger than life, you are the model for all future emperors. It is hard to find a bad thing to say about you. HAIL CAESAR!









Marcus Aurelius




Antoninus Pius
















Which Roman Emperor Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
More meme's, yup I'm bored

So here we go...

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0

You scored as Wolverine. Wolverine is a loner, and a skilled fighter. He's got the hots for Jean Grey but a better fit for him would be Storm. He doesn't like to follow orders which pisses Cyclops off. He has terrible memories from the experimentation done on him at Weapon X. Even though he doesn't show it, he loves the X-Men. Powers: Fast healing and adamantium skeleton and claws.







Emma Frost


Jean Grey














Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
There was a game last night?

I must have missed it. Oh, wait, RAW was on last night. Yeah, that's the ticket. Okay so I flicked back and forth a little bit. If only I could get a second TV and fit it beside the other.

As such, the game ended up 4-3 for home Calgary. Auugghhh!!! These back to back games, at the visitor's arenas, are just killing us. Make it stop.

Well, it will stop Sunday, when fresh meat enters the lion's den. Tee hee hee.

The Bert-accu-scoreTM for last night's contest was 5-1 for the Canucks. Over at Peter/Wizard's site, the poor, misguided Yank called the game 2-1 for the Flames, as he has first hand experience seeing his beloved Red Wings lose to the Flames in the last playoffs 1 1/2 years ago. Yikes, it's been far too long. As such, the two Flame goals Peter predicted added to Calgary's total, and the one Vancouver goal was taken away from Vancouver's total. And since the Yankee take on hockey is backward, proven thusly by Peter's misguided belief that Detroit will defeat the Canucks in the Lion's den of GM Place, bwahahahahaha (Q.E.D. for those keeping score), Vancouver and Calgary swapped goal totals, making the score 4-3 for the Flames, giving us

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for our warm-up to obliterating the Red Wings, the hostages of the NHL (and probably Dubya to boot), Quebec, are given leave on Thursday to visit GM place to face Bert and the Canucks. And, as such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 6 Nordiques 3

Cha Gheill!!
Meme Two for the evening

Am I stupid? Let us let a silly test decide forever...

The Stupid Quiz said I am "Totally Smart!" How stupid are you? Click here to find out!

Stupidity Score Requirements

Status Needed Score
??? 0 - 9
Pretty Smart 10 - 24
Fairly Smart 25 - 39
Smart, but Stupid 40 - 59
A Little Stupid 60 - 79
Stupid 80 - 89
??? 90 - 94
??? 95 - 100

Bwahahahahahahaha!!! I am the Lizard King!!!
Meme Time yet ever again

This one borrowed from Nugget:

You scored as Neo, the "One". Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix.

Batman, the Dark Knight


Neo, the "One"


Indiana Jones


William Wallace




The Terminator


El Zorro


Lara Croft


James Bond, Agent 007


The Amazing Spider-Man


Captain Jack Sparrow


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
A blast from the past

This is your brain:

Ceci est votre cerveau:

This is your brain on drugs:

This is your brain after inhaling biohazzardous toxins released by major North American automobile manufacturers for decades:

Any questions?
Monday, November 07, 2005
Ah, the joys of being male

And this just strikes me as what Will's tour bus loo is going to look like.


The joys of taking things out of context

And with that in mind, the top ten things I heard this week, taken completely out of context. Well, I find them amusing. Meh.

10. Suzanne sucks pussy!
9. [name deleted] is a useless tit.
8. ... take a fag, grab it by the butt, and suck on it for hours.
7. Ugghh... Smallville.
6. What did you do with my "W"?
5. ...second place is just the nice way of saying first loser!
4. With you out of the way, I can have more of my sexy parties!
3. Meh, buh, snuh, and Ghilk.
2. Working on this show is like working every 20th day for free.
1. My Mom's friend doesn't even know how to spell Dawn!

What kind of Evil are you?

Found at the Portal...

Human Evil

What type of evil being are you inside?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Just in - Peter's an environmental nut job

Not that there is anything wrong with that. I'm all about keeping forests, wilderness and the like untouched by industry, preserving natural lands, and so forth. However, Peter, a member of that lovely yet exclusive Men's Club, a higher testosterone version of the ever cliqued Demystifying Diva's, seems to believe that jumping on the Red Wings bandwagon cheering on Detroit constitutes knowing the great game of hockey. After all, the Wings lost 4-1 to the Winnipeg Jets, known now in this millenium as the Phoenix Coyotes. Though, with 32 games against shitty teams like St. Louis (hindered without CANADIANS like the retired MacInnis or new Oiler Chris Pronger), they're sure to clean up in such a weak division.

As for our beloved Canucks, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for last nights contest was 4-3 favouring Vancouver, whereas Kiprusoff got lucky beyond belief and the outcome broadcast was actually 1-0, for the Flames.

Well, Canada still won both the Vancouver-Calgary contest, as well as the Detroit-Winnipeg contest. So there.


Okay, you want an explaination, do you, well here it is.

Well, early this morning (god the 8 hour time difference makes watching Sunday football a challenge), team Satan Manchester United did the unthinkable, ending Chelsea's 40 match unbeaten streak, defeating Drogba and company by the score of 1-0. And since Satan, who dwells in FLAMES, is responsible for ALL Manchester United victories, the score echoed in FLAMES, and thus the 1-0 result occured not once, but twice, spurring the Flames in a close victory against Canada's New TeamTM.

And that gives us Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for Monday night, a repeat of Saturday's debacle, still in the foothills of the Rockies, Calgary. The Canucks are thirsty for revenge, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM shall be

Canucks 5 Flames 1

Cha Gheill!!
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Thank you Domenic Da Vinci

Yes, a grand, warm, heartfelt thanks to this man.

Yes, the play by his own rules coroner, turned Vancouver Mayor, Domenic Da Vinci, allowed me to finally get this

Yes, the hate is swelling in me now. And, as for Peter, it becomes obvious that we can't bet over a copy of Episode III (not that he has any chance of winning the bet).

Which brings me to the business of last night. You see, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for last nights match-up between the mighty Canucks and the lowly Red Wings Columbus Blue Jackets (oops, brain fart, it's easy to confuse two second rate hockey clubs) was 11-0, whereas the score we saw on Sportsnet Pacific last night showed a 5-3 mark favouring the good guys.

Hmm. Now Peter and my mutual friend, Will, has changed his blog to a new host. He has been on Typepad, then Livejournal, Blogger, back to Typepad, and now to this new host, whom I still cannot figure out yet. As such, this is the fifth incarnation of his blogging, and needed to steal five (count them) goals from Vancouver. Will has also moved his forum (which is the most fun ADD fest I've had online in ages by the way) to the same host, and as such, took one further goal from Vancouver's massive total, now giving the Canucks 5 goals, as we saw last night.

As for Columbus, well, now let me, now let me think. Hmmmm. The state of Ohio, who, until the Blue Jackets, were not a home to any recent NHL clubs. In fact, the only two previous Ohio cities to have major sports franchises were Cleveland and Cincinnati (well, Toledo has the AAA Mudhens, but they don't count). And, as Columbus is the third Ohio city with a major pro sports franchise, the Blue Jackets scored one goal for each city, bringing their total up to 3, which gives us...

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight's matchup, against one of our western Canadian rivals, the Calgary Flames, who, incidentally, knocked the Detroit Red Wings out of the playoffs in 2004 en route to a 7 game Stanley Cup final series, play host to the blessed Canucks, in the Olympic Pengrowth Saddledome. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the match shall be

Canucks 4 Flames 3

Cha Gheill!!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Canucks finally get a goalie

Well, we already have him. It's Alex Auld

the ever reliable backup to the *cough* STARTING goaltender, Dan Cloutier. To avoid this getting into a 10,000 word expose about why Cloutier should go, I'll just say this. One, when it counts, he chokes. Two, I don't think Cloutier could save anything on any games that go to a shootout. And just for my new rival hockey buddy Wizard, here's hoping Auld starts against Team Geritol his Red Wings. Then Bert

can light the lamp repeatedly in front of the home faithful at GM Place. Let's hope this mild injury is a blessing for the 'nuckles, letting Marc Crawford finally realize that Auld is the goalie now and in the future.

And now down to business with Bert, and I mean

this Bert. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was a decisive 12-0 for Vancouver, but the result that occured showed 2-1 for Vancouver. Well, the game came just 10 years, almost to the day, after the biggest sigh of relief this country ever had. Yes, Quebec voted No to sovereignty, in such a narrow margin as to instigate thousands of heart attacks across Canada. Okay, well, maybe. As such, the Canucks honoured Quebec's continued inclusion in Canada for forfieting a goal for every year of the anniversary. Minnesota, however, were able to jump on the reduced performance by Vancouver, and were able to squeak a goal in. As such, we have

Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For our next match, as a warmup to the Red Wings visiting GM Place, to suffer yet another thumping by Bert and the Canucks, host the lowly Columbus Blue Jackets, who tonight, against Calgary, only managed 17 shots all game. I guess they missed that memo informing them there's no longer a two-line pass. As such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 11 Columbus 0

Cha Gheill!!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005

According to this Wikipedia entry...
Acrophobia or altophobia is a fear of heights.

People who suffer from acrophobia can often become habituated to particular high places, i.e. they lose their fear of them, but the fear returns when they go somewhere new. A surprising number of rock-climbers suffer intermittent acrophobia.

Acrophobia can be dangerous, because sufferers can experience a panic attack in a high place and be unable to get themselves out of it. Some acrophobics also suffer from urges to throw themselves off high places, despite not being suicidal.

Curiously, there is no correlation between fear of flying and acrophobia. The difference seems to be that when flying, there is no visual connection between the aircraft and the ground beneath: fearless and successful pilots who are acrophobic have reported that their fear suddenly emerges if such a connection is made, e.g. by flying near a cliff or a tall building.

Acrophobia is a specific-object phobia and like most such phobias is relatively easily addressed by behaviour therapies such as systematic desensitization or flooding. It is probable that acrophobic rock-climbers have in effect undergone a successful self-administered course of such behaviour therapy.
Now, as some of you know, and conversely, as a shock to some of you, I suffer from acrophobia, the fear of heights.

Kind of. You know, it's weird. My first bout of dealing with said fear came when I was but a five year old lad, and my parents, and grandparents, Dad's side, took me to Niagara Falls, whereby, after my Mom's utter horror at the $2.00 it cost to park by the falls (I really shouldn't tell her how much it costs now), we went here

The Skylon Tower. As this post relates to fear of heights, I had no problem going up and down the tower in the glass-windowed elevator. In fact, Dad and I had loads of fun taking the piss out of Mom because her fear of heights is greater than I've seen in anyone else.

Yes, us Vickers boys have been known to be mean at times. I get it from my dad. He cracked a hockey stick over his brother's head once, just over a fun game of shinny.


What did scare me at Skylon was, in the basement, there was a small amusement area, with a ferris wheel as the centerpiece. Well, just the sight scared the begeezus out of me. Remember I'm still five. I'm older than the majority who read my tripe, but I don't age THAT fast. Needless to say I didn't ride the ferris wheel. In fact, even on the carousel, I refused to go on a horse, opting to ride on a fixture that was just that - fixed to the floor of the ride.

Yes I'm a wimp. Well, a career move for my old man, and we found ourselves in beautiful Ocala, Florida, for a year (Mom couldn't handle the heat in the summer, and I don't blame her). And, with Florida, came Walt Disney World, and my first roller coaster,

Space Mountain, one of very few rides that had major medical warnings. And I rode it without even batting an eye. Mind you, it's all in the dark. Heights aren't the issue with this ride, but rather the major vectoral alterations in velocity that happen in such a short instance. Ahh, God I love that part of my Engineering education.

Then came Canada's Wonderland. And, probably just my dad spiting Mom yet again, ever since he took me to see Episode IV on opening day, hanging out in Downtown Montreal for 14 hours to see the flick, we went in the inaugural season, the same day Charles and Diana tied the knot (Mom is totally caught up in the Royal Family). All the rides there with heights scared the shit out of me. It took until late high school to master those fears.

But, then there's another matter. Skiing. Early in my career, I hated the lifts. Then, one day, one of few times I got to recreationally ski with friends, I decided I was going to ski all over with them. And I just decided to get on the chair. And it didn't bother me. And didn't until one fateful day, driving across Canada.

Dawn and I, enjoying Banff National Park, went up the ski hill (well, okay, just halfway) to try to catch a glimpse of some bears, a la chairlift. And I tensed right up, frozen in panic. And this is a chairlift I rode literally hundreds of times. I keep convincing myself that, because of the depth of snow, plus the askew sense of depth, makes the ride in snowy conditions, much more tolerable. Or maybe I'm too psyched to ski.

Who knows. But, as such, when I once thought I conquered this fear, this summer has made me second guess that assumption, and as such, my confidence isn't what it once was.

Before I leave you to mull this for yourselves (yes all three of you), I'm trying to work at Grouse Mountain for the winter, as the film business is too slow now for me to justifyably support myself through Vancouver's fabled monsoon season. I had to take the interview at the top of the hill, which, for the first time, that specific air tram ride did not affect me in the least. I'm hoping that being in that altitude all winter, and skiing like hell, might help rekindle that youthful sense of facing fear in the face, without hesitation, to achieve what I know I can and what I must.