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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
So Unpolitical

Ok. I lied. Not like we as people have ever been lied to.

And speaking of lying liars,

Yes, our dear, special friend, Stephen Harper, probably looking at some obscure numbers as to where Lotto 649 was won in the last ten years, and mistaking them for Angus-Reid Poll results, giving Mr. Harper the false impression he could win an election, did the unthinkable. He called a no confidence vote yesterday in the House of Commons, defeated the reigning 38th Parliament, forcing an election, and ultimately another feeble Conservative attempt to dethrone the almighty Liberals. Standing on a platform of running an accountable government, by cutting taxes while providing more for Canadians, a renewed partnership with the provinces and territories, more spending in the military, and of course, strong opposition toward gay marriage.

However, what the key stances of the platform really should read, are as follows. Accountable Government, on the basis the Conservatives (well, this incarnation) have never, EVER run a government. Hence, no reference for accountability, and hence, not accountable for anything. The Conservatives want to cut taxes while providing more. Spend more while making less. Hmm. Anyone who has ever lived on a budget will know that this is impossible. A renewed partnership with all provinces and territories, by delegating the tricky province of Quebec to seperatists, letting them seperate, and hopefully we can get along well enough to import poutine to the rest of Canada. More spending in the military, so that we can peacefully join with the USA a la Austria joining with Germany prior to WWII. And finally, the main selling point for the moral side of the religious right, opposition to gay marriage. Just like in the previous election, Harper is playing to the west, ignoring the east, giving the finger to Quebec, which means, once again, Ontario is the only battleground. And even though many Ontarians are pathetic Leaf fans, they're not stupid enough to all vote Harper and bring in a God-forsaken Conservative government.

Next brings us the mighty Jack Layton, leader of the New Democratic Party. Often referred to as the moral conscience of the Liberals, the actual basis of the NDP could be a serious threat to the Liberals. With, again, one major exception. The vote boils down to Ontario. Yup, the dogma of Canadian politics. Leaf fans rule the vote. Heck, they voted Ken Dryden, the ex club President, into a seat in the latest Parliament (even though Kenny is a traitor from the club he played for, les Canadiens). With no other stronghold, like the other three parties, Layton can only do best as spoiler, winning enough seats to keep a party from winning a majority.

Which brings us to the most honest man in Canadian politics, Gilles Duceppe. In fact, he may be the most honest politician on the face of the planet. It's simple. A vote for the Bloc Quebecois is a step closer to Quebec seperating and becoming a sovereign state. The scary bit is there is enough of Canada who hates Quebec, that if the Bloc ran outside of Quebec, Duceppe would ironically become Prime Minister. As it stands, however, the Bloc only runs in their home Province, and thus limits the Liberals to a handful of seats, and none for the other parties.


Which leaves us with our beloved Prime Minister, the Right Honourable Paul Martin, and the Liberal Party of Canada. At the end of the Gomery Report, Martin and former Prime Minister Jean Cretien were branded as crooks. And the irony? Voting for Martin and the Liberals is the lesser of two evils. Though Harper is accountable, that visage of him in the cowboy hat just reminds me too much of a certain leader just south of our border. Now who could that be, who could it possibly be? Maybe...







SATAN!!!

Yes, the ultimate flaw of Mr. Harper. He's too much like the Antichrist Bush.

I remember part of an old saying, where one should not discuss politics with friends. Ahh, Harper, what suicide. You're the one who forced the election, and all this pointless debate about the same mundane issues. And you set up Martin to delay the election nearly a month longer than previous, one-month election campaigns. Martin will now be perceived as the saviour, keeping the actual vote away from the holidays.

Looks like you buried yourself again, Steve. I'm sure Bush can get you a job at Unocal once your political career is over.
neolithic pondered at 19:43
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