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Friday, December 30, 2005
Branching off some more

Well, this isn't a change, just an addition. As a few of you know, I have delusions that I can actually take a photo or two. And I needed a forum to more appropriately display my photographs, and frankly, the purpose of this blog does not suit it. To add to things, Blogger really isn't the greatest forum to display artistic photographs. As such, I have set up a deviantART account here.

Check it out. I just hope you laugh more at my posts here than my pics there.

That is all.
Ugghhh @ the holidays

Now, don't let the title of this post completely fool you. I'm not raining on the parade of the good qualities of the holiday season. Rather, based on the experience I have had working in retail this Christmas, I am reminded of a theorem I discovered about 17 years ago, when I first started to drive, having earned my licence during a road test conducted in a blizzard.
The presence of snow on any driving surface, wether it be paved road, dirt road, driveway, or parking lot, causes an instantaneous rejection, by the human body, of it's own brain, in regards to, but not restricted to, common sense rules of the road.
Well, this past week of Hell sheer fun, selling to, and observing, typical electonics consumers acting under heavy impulse, I have developed the retail corollary for it.
During December holidays, consumers looking to show their love by throwing money at those whom they "care" about, immediately turn off all reasoning centers of the cereberal cortex, only to re-engage during boxing week, to realize the mistakes of their purchases, only to then blame everyone but themselves.
Can you say ugghh yet? Or are you in such denial that you are still arguing that the associate who sold you your wares was just trying to make a buck?

Either way, I just shake my head at the sheer idiocy of some of the complaints I have run across this week, just because others can't be bothered to care for their loved ones, substituting merchandise and bling for love. For your consideration, I give you some plum examples from the week:

1. Repeated phone calls from customers who purchased televisions well past the no hassle return date, having realized there was some problem with it, having not purchased in-store service, having lost the manual, expecting us to fix the problem over the phone. After 10 minutes of explaining it's not our problem anymore, it took an additional 10 to effectively relay the manufacturers telephone number, as the parties (yup, this was a multiple event) had extreme difficulty realizing that an 866 toll free area code was only three digits long, not four or five.

2. Being treated like toe jam because I won't put a $29.99 DVD player on hold, as it is a quick moving item, as putting items on hold is not store policy. This attitude is gauded over by the "potential loss of a customer". This coming in a department where a complete home theatre system could bring in $15,000 revenue to the store. Yet the parties (again many who thought this) don't realize their purchase is peanuts in comparison. Hmm. I wonder if they yet realize the sun does not revolve around them yet?

3. This one is technically specific. People who can't grasp the concept of High Definition. This is really easy. High Defiition has either 720 or 1080 lines of resolution. As such, for a High Definition TV to be playing a High Definition picture, the input, surprise, surprise, must be High Definition. Everyone who looks at high definition are told that by every Home Theatre rep in the store. Yet we are blamed after Christmas because many angry customers are awakened to the fact that these televisions don't magically make regular TV High Definition. I wonder how these people who can throw $6000 around for a TV got rich on an education that practically does not stretch beyond the third grade.

I could go on, but I think the point is becoming very clear. One, that most of our customers, left to their own devices, are barely able to swallow their own food, let alone make decisions based on thousands of dollars. Two, that, maybe, the secret of success is to be as stupid as possible. Don't believe me? Just look at Bush. He's the dumbest of them all. And he's the most powerful man in the "free" (though America ain't that free) world.

That is all.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Yankee propaganda strikes again

Well, from that accredible horrible source of news gossip, CNN, it seems that we, the free-spirited Canadian, seems to blame our southern neighbour for the increase in violence we have in our communities. Funny, how this is news to me, that America is the source.

The article piece of shit which is supposed to resemble reporting can be found here.

I thought the only people playing the blame game were the politicians, looking to substitute blame for personality in the upcoming federal election.

Meh. Once again, America gets sucked in by this fear mongering, anti-everything-not-100%-American dogma that is shoved down their throats, hopefully substituting the governments revocation of the public's basic rights.

It's a shame our neighbours from the south do not recieve Canadian news, to counter the opinion that's constantly spread to them as fact.

As such, read news from CBC, BBC, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, and the Rick Mercer Report for different viewpoints. Then seperate fact from fiction. And enjoy the odd chuckle.

Hat tip to Ang.

That is all.
I've just decided...

That our opponents in the Northwestern Division can kiss my ass. We dominate weaker teams like Ottawa and Detroit, but yet our division rivals are owning us.

Calisse Tabarnacle!!!

Anyhow... the Bert analysis will come at some point tomorrow. As for the Bert-accu-scoreTM for tonight's game agains the Predators (thank fucking God, a non-division opponent) shall be

Vancouver 4 Nashville 1

Cha Gheill!!
Monday, December 26, 2005
The true meaning of Christmas

Yup, last night I was re-united with a certain episode of a Canadian classic, the Trailer Park Boys Christmas special in which Ricky

had an epiphany about Christmas. To quote (well, adlibbed):

Christmas is about getting drunk and fucking stoned.

Ahh yes, the true meaning of life. I just always wondered how the Trailer Park Boys would be if they were in British Columbia, not Nova Scotia. And in the Trailer Park Boys holiday calendar, only 420 is more holy.

However, I get the feeling the Canucks had celebrated a few 420's after all the Olympic team candidates they have. Bertuzzi and Jovanovski for team Canada; Naslund, Ohlund and the Sedin twins for Sweden; and last but not least, Salo and Ruutu for Finland. And surprisingly enough, NOBODY for team USA. Okay so it's not surprising.

As such, after Jovo and Bert got named as Team Canada teammates, and future gold medal winners, too many 420's were celebrated, not on April 20, but rather at 4:20 pm, thus impacting the game, giving four more to Edmonton's goal total of three, giving them seven. Once the buzz wore off, Vancouver found themselves behind by 2, and put themselves in gear, getting one more goal, making the score 7-6, giving us



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

Then with the six Swedish and Finnish players named, the Canucks were inspired to score two more goals, for the Fins. However, the Flames decided to burn us, by supporting their own Finnish goalie Kiprusoff, and scored a goal for each opposing Swedish olympian, making the score 6-5, giving us again,



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, the Canucks are hungry for revenge, and the score of the game shall be

Canucks 4 Flames 0

Cha Gheill!
Saturday, December 24, 2005
How Canadian am I?

Well, let the following speak for itself.

Very Canadian
You scored 90 Canada speak and 94 Canadianess!
Nicely done! You could be one of us. You probably know someone who owns a Ski-Doo up at their cottage.



My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 65% on Canada speak
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 86% on Canadianess
Link: The Ultimate Canadian Test written by echox2 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


And, as a public service to those neighbours south of our border who would like to try the quiz, one of these two links will help you with one question.

Either here or here.

That is all.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Tonight's game

Well, the Christmas rush is delaying the accu-score for that horrible Edmonton game Wednesday. But, as such, tonight, the Flames are in town, and as such, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 3 Flames 2

Cha Gheill!!
For the rest of us

Well, being as I am working the afternoon shift at hell Best Buy *cough cough*, I've had the opportunity to do a little recreational blog surfing today.

I got to Peter's blog, at which I read this post, to which Peter makes a strong argument to the Christian origins of America, and voices his displeasure of beliefs that are contrary to the Western concept of God. To wit, this brings two thoughts to mind.

1. Something my father told me ages ago. Don't talk about religion or politics amongst friends. Tempers flare up too much all based on belief structures. Meh.

2. Such a powerful belief structure, coupled with everything that's going on in the middle east, is becoming increasingly remeniscent of another dark element of the Christian past. Yup, I'm talking about the crusades. Can Dubya say woops yet?

With the multicultural diversity that exists within North America, our neighborhoods are becoming potential battlegrounds. All over stubborn, bullheaded beliefs. As Rufus (Chris Rock) said in Dogma, "It's better to have ideas. Changing an idea is easy. Changing a belief is trickier". Which leads me to this major idea.

One of the assimilative aspects of North American culture, is, as one yellow skinned, ten year old, cartoon boy once said, "Christmas is the time where people of all faiths come to celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ". Yes, most of us celebrate Christmas in some fashion, usually dominated by the exchange of gifts. In my household, growing up, there was absolutely no relation to the actual religious significance of the birth of Christ. And our family was far from the only one.

As such, I suggest this. That we, as North Americans, celebrate Festivus. That's right, the Seinfeld inspired Festivus for the Rest of Us. A non-religious holiday, which, surprise, surprise, is December 23, which is today. As such, we are not just able to join together free of belief, but as well, we can clean the slate with the traditional "airing of grievances".

As such, here are my grievances aired.

1. To all my "friends", who have since migrated on to better things, leaving me and my friendship behind. I thought your friendship meant something, but obviously, something else meant more to you.

2. To all the creationists. Fact supports the Darwinian notion that we evolved, and disproves the Biblical notion of divine creation. Fact. As Superintendant Chalmers said, "prayer has no place [between school walls], just as fact has no place within organized religion".

3. Those people who manage, but know not how to lead. Get a clue.

Now I'm not saying to leave Christianity. For those whose faith is strong, I still suggest to follow your doctrine. I just suggest to take the commercialism out of Christmas, and allow people of all faiths to follow their spiritualistic needs uninterrupted with nauseating Christian assimilation. And to all...

HAPPY FESTIVUS

That is all.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Just adding fuel to the fire

And in that title, I so hope we mop the floor with the US hockey team. My good buddy Jake (no blog that I'm aware of) sent me this, which really boils my blood. If any of you wonder why I hate neo-conservative, Flander-ised right wing American borg designates, this video should give you some insight.

And for those people aforementioned, please, WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Click here to see why.

That is all.
Canada Repeat Gold!!!

Well, okay, I'm jumping the gun. But, I can come up with two reasons why Canada has the best shot of all countries.

One being Ed Jovanovski. The other being Bert himself, Todd Bertuzzi. Nice to see the two top Canuck Canucks (alliteration, I love it) are Olympians.

Hmm... where are the top Canuck Leafs. Oh, McCabe is an alternate. Excuse me while I laugh. For the whole roster, click here. And look, no Los Angeles Kings.

Even Bertuzzi and Jovanovski have alliterate jersey numbers. 44 and 55, respectively. Now since the 4 and 5 are doubled up, so to speak, we should take one away from each, giving us 3 and 4. And since the Kings don't have Canuck players up to scratch, the Kings stole the 4 for their goal total, making Monday's total score being 4-3, Kings over Canucks, giving us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For tonight's contest, the Oilers come into the garage to try to gain more wins from the Canucks. Vancouver will be uber-pumped from the news they have two Canuck Olympians, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 5 Edmonton 3

Cha Gheill!! And Oh Canada!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The haze is gone

And another [sic] birthday has come and gone. But alas, it was a quiet one, watching WWE, hockey, and drinking beer.

Meh. I'm getting too old. Make the clock stop already!!

That is all.
Monday, December 19, 2005
America announces their roster

Like this would ever inspire fear in any Canadian. Looking through this list, I have still no fears that Canada will have no problem with the American *cough* Team *cough*.

As such, here it is...

GOALIES
Rick DiPietro
Robert Esche
John Grahame

DEFENCE
Chris Chelios
Derian Hatcher
Jordan Leopold
John-Michael Liles
Aaron Miller
Brian Rafalski
Mathieu Schneider

FORWARDS
Jason Blake
Erik Cole
Craig Conroy
Chris Drury
Brian Gionta
Scott Gomez
Bill Guerin
Mike Knuble
Mike Modano
Mark Parrish
Brian Rolston
Keith Tkachuk
Doug Weight

Wow. Talk about your no-name team. It looks like team USA will be a non-factor in Torino. Hell, the Swedish, Finnish, Czech, and Russian team seem more impressive.

And by the way, OH CANADA!!

That is all.
What is it about the Northwestern Division?

Somebody upstairs has it in for us. And, though he'd like to think so, his name is NOT Bettman. The Canucks seem to be able to defeat every team outside of their division with ease, but struggle with their in-diviaion rivals. And against Edmonton? They had their five Stanley Cups. Come on now.

Anyhow, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was Canucks 6 Oilers 2, whereas the score adapted for television ended up being 5-4 for the Oilers, handing Vancouver a rare home loss. Well, the Oilers ignored all the rules, and scored a goal for each Stanley Cup they won, giving Edmonton 5 in total. In those five Stanley Cups, Gretzky was the captain for four of them, and the Canucks, showing respect for the Great One, scored for each of Gretzky's four Stanley Cups. As such, the score of the game was Oilers 5 Canucks 4, which gives us



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, the Los Angeles Kings roll into town, trying to add to the woes of Vancouvers unexpected loss. However, the Kings aren't in our division, and as such, will suffer a bitter defeat to the tune of

Vancouver 6 Kings 0

Cha Gheill!!
WWE Meh-me

And Dawn will like this one...

HASH(0x8d275f8)
Hey your John Cena...If you want some come get
some!!! You don't bow to anyonw, you are a
straight thug, and you don't give a damn about
what anyone says


Which WWE superstar are you? for WWE fans only!!!!
brought to you by Quizilla

That is all.
The Disney Meh-me

Another one I'm not so sure I agree with, but here it is...

Mickey Result
Mickey Mouse


Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hat tip: MCF.

That is all.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Random Meh-me

Well, Dawn tagged me on Friday, and as such, here we go.

Post 5 random and weird facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of 5 people whom you in turn tag. So here are my five weird and random facts.

1. I have had narrow ear canals since birth, and I have vague memories of doing loads of hearing tests. There was contemplation of surgery, though the doctors felt they didn't need to perform any. Now, as it seems, I have the best hearing of anyone I know. I can even hear a lightsabre from across London Drugs (much to Dawn's chagrin).

2. I can wiggle my ears. I accidentally let that slip in high school, and the fact added to the ridicule that I absorbed on an almost daily basis.

3. I saw Duran Duran perform in Maple Leaf Gardens in 1983 (oh the joys of Junior High) the same night they shot the video for The Reflex.

4. I eat more than most people twice my own weight, and also have an alcohol tolerance to body weight ratio that is downright inhuman.

5. Not that this last one is a shock, but I know all six Star Wars scripts by heart, even to the extent of doing the alien languages perfectly with correct accents (including Geonosian). Yes, I'm a dork/geek/nerd, desperately in need of a life. Meh.

As for tags... hmmm... dunno if I have five vigilant readers, so those who do read and do it, leave a comment and linkbacks and the like.

That is all.
I feel so deliciously evil...

And as such... a meme, which Dawn found here.


How evil are you?


That is all.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Ahh, the Eastern domination is now on hold

Yes, after some quite stirring success against the teams in the Eastern Conference, it's now back to business as the Canucks are at home this evening for a 7:00 PM meeting, facing Edmonton for the 16th time this season.

But still, there is some unfinished business, Thursday's match between the 'Nucks and the Flyers. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was 5-2 for the Cauncks, whereas the actual score was 5-4, still, obviously, for the Canucks. Well, while Bert and co. were off vanquishing evil, Canada had not only one, but two debates between the four major candidates in the upcoming 23 January federal election, one debate in each official language.

As such, the lack of touch with the home of hockey, Canada, caused the Canucks to give up one goal for each language that the debates were held in, which made the overall score 5-4 Canucks, which gives us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

For tonight's contest, the Oilers will face the best home record in the league, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 6 Oilers 2

Cha Gheill!!
I knew I had some Irish in me

But this is just taking the piss.


Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com


That is all.
Just when I thought there was nothing to write about anymore...

Then this happens.

Last night was the season finale of The Apprentice. Now, our dear friend Peter left a little review and two cents here, showing his loss of respect when Randall, the show winner, given the choice to hire a solid runner-up, chose not to, in a display of pure ego, saying he was to be the only Apprentice.

To which, I left this comment, in agreement with Peter.
Peter, I totally agree with you. I normally don't watch reality TV (well, with the exception of Hell's Kitchen... I love watching Gordon Ramsay going ape shit in the kitchen), but The Apprentice doesn't solely resort on the lowest common denominator to garner ratings.

I did tune in for the last 15 minutes last night, and had a very similar thought when Randall said he wouldn't hire Rebecca. It seems those two could be the two best participants in the history of the show, and not to recognize that Rebecca would be a huge asset, Randall proved all his education was a waste, as he ingored a basic priciple.

That of the corruption of power.

I'm now sure that several of Trump's top competitors are now wooing Rebecca to come work for them.

As for Randall... Ooops!!!
Now I must say, I did leave one thing out in haste. The fifteen minutes that I did watch were in fact the only fifteen that I watched for the whole run of the season. However, I do stand by it.

Enter Rosette Hawkins, reader of Peter's blog from Nairobi, Kenya, and writer of this blog. She decided to leave this comment, which was in reply to my comment.
I disagree with you on multiple counts:

Rebecca was so not one of top runners up ever... If you put her head to head with that lady, I forget her name, who came in number three in season one, she'd loose to her even.

Secondly, if Trump's competitors are lining up to woo Rebecca, it is because of the publicity... and they're quite justified to want to take advantage of that...

I think most white folk begrudge Randall the fact that he was so way out there educated and experienced and successful that they're pleased to see what they imagine is a chink in his armor and to hammer at it to make a hole.

Yes, I'm calling the race card because that is what it is about.

There's no other way anyone would look at Randall's record in the programme right from the beginning down to the end when Rebecca completely fouled up her task (remember she did not win as PM except when Randall specifically set out to help her do so, duh), and even begin to compare them. Or maybe Trump meant him to hire her as his assistant... oh well, then that would have made sense.

Otherwise, he's had to be four times as good as the next white guy to get this so he should be allowed to enjoy it without all this high class nonsense...

How many Americans are of Rebecca's calibre but with more experience? Why can't Randall give them a chance? Why is it that Rebecca was the rightest person in history after Randall had rightly won the interview?

I can rant till the cows come home... this business is really getting my goat.
Wow. I never saw that one coming. I figured it might turn into a rather amusing blogument (crossing blog and argument), but not this.

As such, I just HAVE to have fun with this one. Starting with Rosette's first agrument,
Rebecca was so not one of top runners up ever... If you put her head to head with that lady, I forget her name, who came in number three in season one, she'd loose to her even.
Wow. How eloquently put. That lady, I forget her name. Amy Henry, maybe? And guess what? I rarely watch reality TV. Rosette, I wonder why you didn't go a Google search? Why are you so angry?

Then Rosette went on to say:
I think most white folk begrudge Randall the fact that he was so way out there educated and experienced and successful that they're pleased to see what they imagine is a chink in his armor and to hammer at it to make a hole.

Yes, I'm calling the race card because that is what it is about.
Wow. That is so presumtuous and speculative at best. I didn't begrudge Randall. Neither did Peter for that matter. Randall won fair and square, and became the Apprentice. How can that be about race? Where does the race card come into this? My point, and I don't know if it was misunderstood, was this. Randall showed his lust for power in the final moments of the show, after the victory was his. Now maybe I'm just naive about business, but I always thought that a person was hired by a company, in whatever capacity, was to be an asset to said company. It seemed obvious by Donald's suggestion that he felt Rebecca would be enough of an asset as to break tradition and propose an employment offer. It seemed to me that Randall showed he was all to human after all, blinded by ego, and turned down Mr. Trump's suggestion, showing that his emotions got the best of his prized intellect.

D'oh! I could go on, but dealing with the "race card" can be touchy at best, and as such, I will say that Rosette falls into one of two possible categories.

One, that she is so "race card" trigger happy that she surfs the blog-a-verse looking for any thoughts or opinions that may, even by enormous leaps of imagination, have slight possibilities of hints of traces of possible suggestions of racist remarks, that she has to stir up a shit storm, providing little or no fact in her anger based argument, and backing it up by calling the race card, just to indulge in her own self righteousness.

Two, she hates, or is jealous, of Rebecca, and/or women like her. Just like Chris Rock once said, the main reason the United States has never had a female president is this. Women hate women.

Either way, Rosette has endeared me to her heart, so feel free to visit her website and wreak havok. As for punishment, Rosette has officially earned this...



That is all.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Sometimes I'm Too Political For My Own Good

But alas, some things just dig me too much.

As such, I'd like to reccomend the following entry into Wikipedia.

Political Suicide



See Stephen Harper.

Yes, it seems our dear Stephen is at it again. All through the campaign so far, we as Canadians have been literally BORED TO DEATH with this lame 30 second commercial, which is designed to be a mock television interview, in which Mr. Harper declares that he will help more Canadians get involved in the trades, and put money into helping said people buy tools.

YAWN. Stephen, you have about as much personality as a pet rock. Was that your only pet as a child?

Now there seems to be part II to the ever inventive 2 shot video. Yes, our dear Mr. Harper has become strong on his stance against drugs, but more specifically, against the violence that arises from it's illegal trade in our streets and communities.

Now, as opposed to making a statement as to the ethical and moral implications of wether or not certain drugs are dangerous and should or should not be criminal, I will, however, in a rare turn of events, agree with Stephen on one aspect of the issue.

We do have to take some form of serious action against all the violence, shootings, and localized terror that criminal activities, including, but not exclusively limited to the illegal trade of narcotic substances. Any society that lives in fear or terror of some threat must do something to effect change.

But in saying that, I would rather challenge Mr. Harper and the other leadership candidates in the election to back up the good intentions of Canadians uniting in a strong front on the war against drugs. When boiled back to the basic principles, we are spurred into action for fear of comprimise to our safety. In saying that, I believe that there is a threat, going not only unopposed, but one that funds our friends in Ottawa very heavily.

Tobacco. Yup, smoking. It kills far more Canadians than gang violence ever will. And the funny thing? The slow, methodical killer of approximately 45,000 Canadians each year makes the total 622 homicides in the whole of Canada in 2004 pale in comparison.

The only measure I can see the government has placed into effect in recent years has been to heavily tax cigarettes, as to make the expense of the toxin a deterrent to smokers. Well, guess what. Smokers have chosen to sacrifice other things to buy their cigarettes. As harsh as this may sound, they know the habit can kill them, they want to quit, but they can't.

Sounds more like entrapment to me. And entrapment that makes the government more and more and more money as they raise their deterrent, or rather all the taxes involved in the purchase of tobacco.

So I, as a concerned Canadian, offer this challenge, not only to Mr. Harper, but rather, to Mr. Martin, Mr. Layton, and Mr. Duceppe, as a chance to live up to their promises of a safer and better Canada, which seems to underly each of their campains. Okay, so Gilles platform is about a soveriegn, but safe Quebec.

ERADICATE CIGARETTE MANUFACTURE, IMPORT, SALES, AND CONSUMPTION IN CANADA IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.

For Jack Layton, Paul Martin, or Stephen Harper, lets face it. It could help you sweep Ontario, which, funnily enough, could win you a majority in government. At bare minimum, you could win a minority.

Scared of losing votes from non-smokers? Most non-smokers I know realize the dangers, and do want to quit, but merely lack the willpower to do so. Though it would be an inconvenience at first, let's face it, most who do want to quit will, and will be healthier for it in the long run.

For all you vigilant readers who agree with me, I've set up an online petition here. Spread the word. Link back to here or to the petition. Make Canada smoke free. We've lost too many of our family and friends to the profits of the cigarette manufacturers. Stop the killing for profit.

That is all.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Make Beer, not Kids

Well, at this post over at Rick Mercer's blog, it seems a politically snide comment about parents spending a child care allowance of $25 on beer has now turned into politicians running for office in the upcoming 23 January 2006 election now bashing beer drinkers across Canada.

That's right.

POLITICIANS ARE MAKING IT WRONG TO BE A BEER DRINKER.

Like Rick, I drink beer. Liberally. As such, I find an attack on my consumption of CH3CH2OH rather insulting. Politicians are trying to get our vote, not lose it.

If you agree with me, go here, and sign the petition.

That is all.
Bring on the Flyers!!!

Well, tomorrow night brings but a sad event. The last romp of an Eastern Conference team by the great Vancouver Canucks. Yes, in the "new" NHL, it seems we'll only play the east once, where we'll play Colorado 857 times, Calgary 416 times, and Edmonton 312 times. Meh. At least we have some easy wins to collect.

As for Tuesday afternoon, we visited the Big Apple to take care of business. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was Canucks 6 Rangers 2, whereas the score the fans were subject to was Canucks 3 Rangers 2. Well, for the very few of you who are vigilant readers, you know by now that our "starting" *cough cough* goalie, Dan Cloutier, is going under the knife tomorrow, thus ending his season. Since Vancouver had only half it's normal goalie staff, the offence only scored half the goal total, giving us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tomorrow night's match up, we face Forsberg and the Flyers in Philadelphia. Frankly, Forsberg is just no match for Naslund, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be...

Vancouver 5 Philadelphia 1

Cha Gheill!!
Too close to home

From my daily dose of news from Telus, through all the election newscaps, I noticed this rather disturbing article, titled Man found guilty of knowingly spreading HIV. What was even more disturbing is it's in the city bordering near my home. Here's the first two paragraphs of the article, which is in it's entirety here.
NEW WESTMINSTER, B.C. (CP) - A B.C. jury has decided an HIV-positive man knowingly spread the virus to his sexual partners.

HIV-infected Adrien Nduwayo, 36, was found guilty on Tuesday on five counts of aggravated sexual assault, one count of attempted aggravated sexual assault and one count of sexual assault. The charges relate to the man's failing to disclose his condition and engaging in unprotected sex with seven women between 2000 and 2003.
I just can't imagine what would posess somebody, infected with HIV, to engage in intercourse, given full knowledge of the repercussions to their partners. In trying to figure out this mentality, I can only ascertain that Mr. Nduwayo feels he must lash out at the world for whatever reasons, along with the one that he has been infected with the disease that will, by all medical counts, claim his life.

While keeping that in mind, I can only try to put myself in the same shoes. Though I can imagine feeling anger, rage, hate, and desire for revenge, I could not imagine acting upon those feelings. My emotional states would be a disaster, but I would spend my remaining time encouraging others to practice safe sex, avoid intravenus narcotics, and to spread compassion towards those around me. It seems in this day of an eye for an eye, that the best, most effective solution is to educate and enlighten, not to frighten.

As for HIV being an automatic death sentence, I constantly think of Earvin "Magic" Johnson. I can clearly remember, back in my first year of university, the day when I found out he was diagnosed with HIV. Fourteen years ago (yup I'm feeling old... uggghh). With what we knew about the disease back then, it was out of the realm of the possibility then that a human could survive for so long with HIV. But yet, fourteen years later, Magic is still with us, alive and well, speaking to people about the dangers of HIV. Funny how he and I share the same principle. Teach others from the mistakes he made.

So maybe HIV isn't a guaranteed death sentence after all. I'm not going to argue the medicine here, as my chemistry does not go beyond second year university. What I will say though, is for Mr. Nduwayo, his HIV may not be a death sentence after all. Though, by fact, the odds are very high in the favour that HIV, complicated into AIDS, will claim his life.

So what do we do with someone who acted with malicious intent? Extreme rightists, supporting the death penalty, might say execution. But, with any study of a society that favours the death penalty, the main positive of such a system, amongst the many negatives, is it is a great deterrant for heinous criminal behaviour. However, how much can the death penalty deter those whose fate is sealed? Prison terms? Again, really not a deterrant from such activity.

So what can a society do to prevent such cases in the future. The answer is already here. Educate. Enlighten. And Empower. It's back to basics. In a world dominated by terror, absolutes in heros and villans, good and evil, it is easy to fall in the trap of influence by fear of the consequences. We must rise above that, and take the time to teach others, so that not only will such acts be comitted much less, but also, to help slow the spread of this disease.

That is all.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Sometimes you have to be inspired by what you read on another blog

After checking out this post at Ang's Weird Ideas. And without further adieu...



That is all.
Cloutier out 4 months

Well, after injuring his knee in the first period of the Canucks/Mighty Ducks game on November 20, Vancouver's beloved Dan Cloutier is going under the knife on Thursday for ligament knee surgery, which will keep him out of the Canucks lineup for four months.

Details here.

As for me, I am a little mixed about the situation. Though I don't go on about it in detail here, I'm not the world's biggest Cloutier fan. And in that, I mean I really don't think he's the man for the starting job here in Vancouver. I've had enough arguments with others here about it, and I've come to two conclusions.

One, Cloutier IS a starting goalie. No doubts about it.

Two, Cloutier is NOT a Stanley Cup goaltender. He's been given enough chances to stand strong in the playoffs, but hasn't met the expectation.

In my eyes, Vancouver's recent playoff successes can be summed up in two words...



ED JOVANOVSKI.

In the two most recent post-seasons, when Vancouver has began to make legitimate runs for the cup, he's been the one star to shine over all others.

However, the goalies have fell flat. And this is a horrible way for Alex Auld to prove himself as a starter, in the wake of a serious injury to a well loved teammate. But myself, I'm looking in the direction the Canucks need to go. We need to get to the cup. NOW. And frankly Cloutier isn't the carry the team to the promised land goalie we'll need, like a Khabibulin or Kipprusoff.

Alex Auld, now is your time to shine. And to Dan, best wishes for a speedy recovery. And when you get back, prove me wrong.

That is all.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Let's just say, hypothetically

That you walked into an electronics store, looking for a cheap-ass DVD player for your television. To complicate matters, you're looking for a player that can play certain VCD and DivX formats, because you're into pirating movies. How would you as a video pirate, looking for a subtle way of finding what formats a certain player supports. Surely it wouldn't be this question:

I need it to play VCD and DivX so I can watch pirated films.

Now keep in mind two things. First of all, the store this question was asked within sells films and television series on DVD. So this individual's activities are in direct opposition to some of said stores business.

Two, the associate to whom this question was asked does work in the summers (and hopefully soon more than just that) in the film industry. As said associate isn't at the Speilberg income level (yet), his income as a filmmaker is affected negatively by pirating methods, and as such, does have to work hard in the winters just to make ends meet.

You see, though financial juggernauts in the industry who make highly commercially successful films may not be harmed by a single incident of digital video piracy. However, with it's widespread activity, it makes a highly significant impact on lower budget and independent film. As a result, creativity is drained in favour of commercial appeal, and the overall quality of film depreciates.

As for me, it took every ounce of restraint from taking that customers head and firing it through the glass of the front door. I'm not a violent person, but when somebody blatantly admits they're taking my career I've fought so hard to get to away from me, I believe in this...

AN EYE FOR AN EYE.

That is all.
F-I-L-L-E-R !!!

Yup, captain creativity and humour seems to have writer's block. So, as such, here's some lovely filler, which I found surfing over to Pond Perspective.

And for those who hate follow the link, click here for the hilarity to ensue.

That is all.
How smart is a rock?



Well, not The Rock. A rock as in a stone. Click here to see what a rock is smarter than.

That is all.
The Kiss of Death

Tom Cruise.  Media Icon or freak?Was Tom Cruise the kiss of death for Steven Speilberg? Is Cruise the anti-Hanks? Either way, the Katie Holmes era Cruise is definitely bordering on strange, and not in a circus sideshow kind of way either.

As this relates to Steven, well, his studio, Dreamworks SKG, has been sold to Paramount for $1.6 billion US. It seems that Mr. Speilberg, et. al., couldn't find enough hits and dug themselves $400 million in the hole.

Now, first off, I do have to say, Speilberg's latest flick, War of the Worlds, was a complete turnoff for me. Being a remake aside, it's release co-incided with Cruise's antics in the spotlight, having to make a spectacle that he's with Katie, nearly 20 years his younger. Meh. Who cares. You turned me off of (and more than likely a ton of others) your latest film, and now you share a distinction with Kevin Costner for me, whose films past 1991 I refuse to watch (JFK being the last). Did you sink the Titanic of a film company? Perhaps, though in all honesty, it seems financial difficulty existed in Dreamworks many directions, not just film.

However, what I find disturbing, is in the first sentence of the linked article from CBC. For those of you who are follow the link challenged, I'll repost here.
Paramount Pictures has bought independent film studio DreamWorks SKG in a deal worth about $1.6 billion US.
I don't know about you, but I have major problems swallowing any sentence that has independent film and a dollar figure in the billions in the same sentence, especially when referring to one company. Where I come from, independent film typically falls in the following.

1. The money available to spend does not come from major studios, but rather from government grants, arts grants, loans, private investment, and most typically, from the producer's and director's pocket.

2. The money situation being as such, many crew may work for no salary, but rather a percentage of the profits. Heck I've worked on shoots where the money situation is so bad that craft service is nothing more than carrot and celery sticks, and catering is one slice of pizza, which is all the food you get for about 20 straight hours of shooting.

3. Independent film is usually shot with non-union crews. When dollar figures hit millions, the union does make it's presence felt.

Hell, even directors like Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, and the like aren't independent directors as such. There's just too much money, which though it is a good thing, as people get paid, has one downfall.

The studios take something artistic, strip it of that value and make it commercial.

For all those who insinuate that Dreamworks, Tarantino, and the like are independent, I hereby issue you



That is all.

*Speilberg/Cruise photo courtesy AP.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
M.C.F.A.T. Episode IV

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...


EPISODE IV

A NEW HOPE

It is a period of civil war. Rebel
spaceships, striking from a hidden
base, have won their first victory
against the evil Galactic Empire


Okay, so maybe I'm going just a wee bit too far.

Maybe.

NAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!.

As such, MCF has posted his declared Volume III (even though it's the fourth incarnation) of his astonishing test. And without further adieu, here are my results.

1) What, in your opinion, was the best finale to a television series? I know these things are frequently difficult to narrow down, so if you cannot choose one, narrow it down to a reasonable number, perhaps three.

Well, this one is tricky for me, as I generally find most television not so memorable. Even as "independent" or "new concept" some series are, it's still just too commercially puppeteered, and comprimises artistic integrity.

Not to say that feature film has the same issue. Feature film as a whole is corrupt with commercialism and lack of creativity. Case in point? They're remaking Revenge of the Nerds.

It seems of all the creative minds out there, the one that's truly un-corrupt is the genius, David Lynch. And as such, the best finale of a television series would have to be that of Twin Peaks. The ending is a double edged sword, as the televised finale was a brilliant surreal look at the nature of good and evil, life and death, love and hate. Which lead into the series true finale. A two-hour feature prequel, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Many hated the show, but no show matches it's creative genius.

2) You wake up to get the morning paper when you notice something is wrong. The sky is green and the grass is blue. Birds are swimming and fish are flying. Explain.

Having just awoken from a Twin Peaks dream, where Laura told me that the Giant played golf with my father while in the waiting room, I just realize that I'm still half existing in the Black Lodge.

3) How did you lose your first tooth?

Baby tooth? I was seven, and I was living in Florida with my parents, having moved there within the past year. Knowing very few people, I became jealous that they were losing their teeth and I wasn't. Once I notice the first was loose, I wiggled and wiggled it until it came free.

Adult tooth? In 1998, living in Windsor, but partying in Detroit, I got into a barfight over a girl (I know, I'm a dumb male), and took a punch to the mouth, loosing my two front upper teeth. I still won the fight though, but never heard from the girl again.

4) What's the strangest thing you or someone you know has made out of snow?

I never was much of a snow artist, nor were my friends. I guess the closest I can say is Dawn wants to make snowpeople with genetalia.

5) What's the best superhero lair and why? Feel free to provide examples.

Definitely not the Fortress of Solitude. I've been on the set and it's a fire hazzard. The Batcave is too obvious choice. Perhaps the Fortress of Two Solitudes, home to Angloman

the greatest champion of billingualism in la belle province du Quebec. It is located under the Sun Life building in Montreal, has Poutinette and her great Montreal poutine always available, and most importantly, is indoors, and therefore not subject to the dreaded Bill 101.
Canucks win Stanley Cup!!!



Okay, so maybe I'm jumping the gun a little bit. But alas, in last nights (yup just checked the clock, it's Saturday now) match between Stanley Cup contenders, Vancouver narrowly beat Ottawa in a shootout that went to sudden death, after a near heart attack of a shootout goal by the man carrying the cup, Todd Bertuzzi. From this game (seeing as I only saw the last thirty seconds of overtime and the shootout), I think it's safe to deduce a few things.

1. Since Alex Auld can win a shutout, proving himself against the dominator, Domenik Hasek, Auld should be the Canucks starter for THE REST OF THE SEASON, AND THE PLAYOFFS.

2. Though Vancouver seems to have problems playing Quebec 85 times per season, they do well against the rest of the NHL, and should be considered a heavy favorite to win Lord Stanley's Holy Grail.

3. People in Ontario would do well to learn something about the great game of hockey. The Leafs just plain suck, and the CBC should replace all Leaf broadcasts with Senators broadcasts. It seems being close to Quebec makes the Sens better.

And a quick tip of the hat to a relatively new reader to the A Golden World-a-verse, Vicky. That brings our total up to what, eight now?

Anyhow, Vicky today decided to nicely post two comments to hockey related posts (not like it's hard, with all my working it's tough to find other topics to post about), which for everybody to avoid, I shall repost here.
1. Can't believe they actually came up with such a pathetic jersey. Woah!
Yes, it's true, the Vancouver Canucks have had major encounters with fashion disasters. To this I ask this question. Were they going for the blausee approach, selling with the attitude of indifference rather than style? Or was the jersey actually designed to blind the Canucks opponents on ice,

as to improve the teams overall performance?
2. Oh no - I think it's going to be

Ottawa 5 - Vancouver 3
It seems to me we have a non-Canucks fan on our hands. And with a quick check to Vicky's profile, his being from Toronto pins him as more than likely a Leafs fan. To which I have this to say.

Vancouver 3 Ottawa 2 (Shootout).

Now the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was Vancouver 5 Ottawa 4. Now since Vicky mispredicted the score (and winner) at 5-3 Ottawa, and the goal difference in the prediction is 2, we simply subtract two from Vancouver's and Ottawa's totals, giving us Canucks 3 Senators 2, and hence...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for our next match, this coming Tuesday, the Canucks travel cross country to the city that never sleeps, New York, New York, to face the Atlantic Division leading Rangers. The Canucks will once again prove that west is best, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 6 New York Rangers 2

And a special thanks to Vicky in advance, for being such a good sport.

Cha Gheill!!
Friday, December 09, 2005
Stanley Cup Preview

Yup, the Eastern Conference Ottawa Senators are headed to the Garage tonight to give us the one game preview of the Stanley Cup Finals.

Ottawa vs. Vancouver.

Yup. No Leafs, no Habs, no Alberta. Sens vs. 'Nucks.

But to that soon. Now, about five days ago, we had a hockey game. About two days too much for a layoff, but when Boston (sans Winnie the Pooh jerseys) lost to the 'Nucks 5-2.

Well, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the match was 5-0. Hmm, due to the two extra rest days scheduled for the Canucks, which made us feel like the lockout was back, Boston was rewarded for the layoff with two extra goals, making the mark 5-2, giving us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonights contest, this will definitely be the toughest opponent (less the 500 times we've played Quebec this season) to date, and the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Canucks 5 Senators 4

Cha Gheill!!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Golden World is Reviewed

Well, it happened late last week, though my brain has returned to the world of reality just long enough to make a note of it.

As such...



Teh Blogfather has posted my review. The link is on the left. I must say two things.

First, the picture is VERY flattering. I can only hope to be as good looking one day.

Second, for some odd reason, Star Wars becomes Lord of the Rings. Fair enough, both great sagas (as Star Wars was never really a trilogy), but unfortunately, Lord of the Rings just doesn't match the artistic levels of all David Lynch films (okay, you can exclude Dune), the Godfather (which the blog in itself is somewhat of an homage), and the relatively normal works of Stanley Kubrick. Meh. Lord of the Rings is a good film, though Sidious would have no problem defeating Sauron and bringing order to the Galaxy.

On other notes, for the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards, it seems I fell short to making it to the second round. I only got 8 votes.

Meh. Thanks to Dawn and the other seven voters. Seems I have three more readers than I anticipated.

That is all.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Little known Canadian Parties

Not too long ago, I did a humourous (okay, well, I thought it was humourous, though Dawn was the only to comment) post making pot shots at the four major parties running in Canada's upcoming election in January, and even more pot shots at the leaders of said parties.

So, speaking of pot, I'm sure some of you might be flabberghasted to know that Canada has an officially registered party, the Marijuana Party of Canada, whose goals, amongst others, is to liberate pot, to make it fully legal admidst all the factsTM, fed to us by various conservative bodies. Even the Liberal Party of Canada supports at least decriminilization.

But this post is not about the political ramifications of a stand for or against pot. Rather, it is about an amusing tidbit I heard on the news on the way to work this morning in the wee hours (yes, I was actually awake enough to remember). It seems that in the Pitt Meadows/Maple Ridge (under construction) riding, the candidate is a fellow by the name of Dan Banov. A supporter of legalization, Dan has NEVER SMOKED POT IN HIS LIFE. Wow.

He's from British Columbia.

He's never smoked pot.

But he's in favour of legalizing it.

Strikes me as the "facts" supporting it's criminalized status are a little askew.

That is all.
My one big bitch from work

Well, as many (okay, all five of you) readers from work may attest to, or may not, hell I can't guage who pays attention to this blog or not...

Anyway...

I am working currently at Best Buy during the winter to make ends meet. Ugghh. I know. But the employee discount makes up for it, seeing as I want to get a Mac G5, DVD Player, and upgrade the home theatre a tad (right now it's a used TV on a milk crate with a PS2). Dealing with customers is fine, even when they ask asinine questions such as "Is the lifespan of a Plasma TV actually 25 years?", seeing as Plasma TV's haven't been around for 25 years, and as such, all figures are no more than estimates. No, this is what really irks me.

"You mean just getting the High Definition television isn't enough? I have to buy an HD cable box and Component/HDMI cables?"

I guess this must translate, for the technologically challenged, as "I need more than the TV. As in $500 to $1000 for additional equipment?" Maybe the whole revolution makes too much sense to me (technologically speaking). For those who are in the confusion zone, and you're thinking of buying a High Definition Television, here's a few things to consider. And don't come to the Queensborough Best Buy without reading this please.

1. A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. As such, having a TV that is HD ready, but a standard TV cable will not magically become High Definition. You need a High Definition decoder box, which translates the digital signal in your coaxial cable, the one coming out of the wall, so it may be delivered to your television. This can run you $400. Also, YOU MUST ALSO SUBSCRIBE TO HIGH DEFINITION CHANNELS FROM YOUR CABLE/SATTELITE SUBSCRIBER.

2. Continuing on the first point, you also need connecting cables to deliver the High Definition signal from the box to your television. This point is of paramount importance. THE CABLES IN THE TV BOX OR DIGITAL CABLE BOX ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Not by a long shot. You should put away an additional $200 easily for these cables.

3. If sound is of importance to you, you should get a Dolby 5.1 (minimum) reciever, plus their own cables. Again the ones in the box aren't enough. They don't broadcast 5 seperate channels in two wires. You need a digital co-axial/digital fibre-optic. Again, $200 plus the cost of the reciever/speaker set up.

Now, technologically, I can understand many people may not recognize which components to buy, but for crying out loud, do we live in such a throw money around as a bandaid society that their High Definition desires will not be solely filled by throwing thousands of dollars at a Television set? If that is so, and you have that much disposable income, would you mind...





GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
With all the filler...

You'd think I'd be more corporate, not independent. Meh. Three weeks ago, I posted this, being the top 25 all time played songs I have on iTunes.

Let's see how the list changed.

1. Viva La Raza WWE - Eddie Guerrero (NR)
2. Weapon of Choice Fatboy Slim (2)
3. Romantic Traffic The Spoons (1)
4. You Were Always on my Mind Pet Shop Boys (3)
5. The Lonely Shepherd Zamfir (4)
6. The River The Tea Party (5)
7. Crazy Train Pat Boone (6)
8. Interstate Love Song Stone Temple Pilots (7)
9. Connection Elastica (8)
10. Cannonball The Breeders (11)
11. Papa's Got A Brand New Pig Bag Pig Bag (16)
12. Kyle's Mom's A Bitch Eric Cartman (NR)
13. Bigmouth Strikes Again The Smiths (10)
14. Give It Up KC and the Sunshine Band (17)
15. Sycamore Trees David Lynch & Jimmy Scott (19)
16. Keep On Rocking In The Free World Neil Young (20)
17. The Globe Big Audio Dynamite (9)
18. Killing In The Name Rage Against the Machine (25)
19. There's No Other Way Blur (14)
20. The Bazaar The Tea Party (13)
21. Comfortably Numb Pink Floyd (22)
22. Chemical World Blur (15)
23. Du Hast Rammstein (12)
24. I Am Superman REM (24)
25. Quiet The Smashing Pumpkins (21)

New songs in the top 25 in bold.

Meh. The scary bit is I have 300+ songs on my iTunes playlist.
The ugliest hockey jersey... ever

Ahh, yes, the Boston Bruins. As my origins are from the blessed city, Montreal, I have far from fond memories about the Bruins. And, in the late 90's, as NHL teams adopted alternate jerseys, no doubt to increase merchandise sales, where Chicago, the New York Rangers, and Vancouver had aesthetically pleasing designs, Montreal and Toronto renewed some classic designs, Boston led the way with possibly the worst fashion design EVER.


It kind of justifies this mistake, doesn't it? God did our Canucks have some eyesores as uniforms in the past.














Well, to that business soon enough. As for Thursday nights game, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was Vancouver 6 Edmonton 3, where the "result" that the fans had to endure was Oilers 5 Canucks 3. Hmm. How could we lose to a team that fell to the Bruins, now without former captain Joe Thornton?

One third of the way around the planet, in the English Premiership, my beloved Liverpool Reds bested Wigan 3-0. As for our consistent opponents, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Manchester United, they scored, respectively, 1, 0, and 3 goals. As for my Dawn, her Sheffield Wednesday Owls fell to crosstown rivals Sheffield United by a 1-0 mark.

So, Vancouver matched Liverpool's and Sheffield Wednesday's goal totals, giving them 3. Edmonton matched our combined opponent goal totals, giving them 5. Thus, the balanced score of the match was 5-3 favouring Edmonton, giving us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, thankfully home teams wear dark jerseys, so Canuck fans don't have to be blinded by Winnie the Pooh. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 5 Boston 0

Cha Gheill!!
I should have found this ages ago

But, as such, I sorta knew about it, but didn't visit until tonight. Ahh, the beauty of hating the Toronto Maple Leafs, the worst sports franchise EVER!!!

Here's a sample tidbit of what I found in the wonderful archives...



BLOW LEAFS BLOW!!!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Oh how the French have fallen.

Okay. So most of the team does not officially hail from La Belle Province. But still, les Nordiques finally fell to the great Canadian team, the Vancouver Canucks, by a 5-2 mark. What a shame I was working and couldn't watch much of the game, though I did pop my head into the lunch room occasionally and got periodic updates.

Now, the Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game was 3-2, favouring Vancouver over their divisional rivals, Quebec. Now if you go back to the comments section, you will notice that my lovely fiancee had taken the piss out of the mighty Canucks, saying that Quebec would win 5-2. However, Dawn is from the UK originally. They drive on the wrong opposite side of the road, so we must adjust her prediction by swapping the final goal totals between the two teams, which gives us...



Utter Golden PerfectionTM.

As for tonight, Vancouver traves to the northernmost city in the NHL, to play the once mighty Edmonton Oilers. The Bert-accu-scoreTM for the game shall be

Vancouver 6 Edmonton 3

Cha Gheill!!
And you thought the iPod Nano was small.

Thanks to j3st3r for this one, via email.

Introducing...

The iPodTM Flea.

That is all.