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Friday, December 30, 2005
Ugghhh @ the holidays

Now, don't let the title of this post completely fool you. I'm not raining on the parade of the good qualities of the holiday season. Rather, based on the experience I have had working in retail this Christmas, I am reminded of a theorem I discovered about 17 years ago, when I first started to drive, having earned my licence during a road test conducted in a blizzard.
The presence of snow on any driving surface, wether it be paved road, dirt road, driveway, or parking lot, causes an instantaneous rejection, by the human body, of it's own brain, in regards to, but not restricted to, common sense rules of the road.
Well, this past week of Hell sheer fun, selling to, and observing, typical electonics consumers acting under heavy impulse, I have developed the retail corollary for it.
During December holidays, consumers looking to show their love by throwing money at those whom they "care" about, immediately turn off all reasoning centers of the cereberal cortex, only to re-engage during boxing week, to realize the mistakes of their purchases, only to then blame everyone but themselves.
Can you say ugghh yet? Or are you in such denial that you are still arguing that the associate who sold you your wares was just trying to make a buck?

Either way, I just shake my head at the sheer idiocy of some of the complaints I have run across this week, just because others can't be bothered to care for their loved ones, substituting merchandise and bling for love. For your consideration, I give you some plum examples from the week:

1. Repeated phone calls from customers who purchased televisions well past the no hassle return date, having realized there was some problem with it, having not purchased in-store service, having lost the manual, expecting us to fix the problem over the phone. After 10 minutes of explaining it's not our problem anymore, it took an additional 10 to effectively relay the manufacturers telephone number, as the parties (yup, this was a multiple event) had extreme difficulty realizing that an 866 toll free area code was only three digits long, not four or five.

2. Being treated like toe jam because I won't put a $29.99 DVD player on hold, as it is a quick moving item, as putting items on hold is not store policy. This attitude is gauded over by the "potential loss of a customer". This coming in a department where a complete home theatre system could bring in $15,000 revenue to the store. Yet the parties (again many who thought this) don't realize their purchase is peanuts in comparison. Hmm. I wonder if they yet realize the sun does not revolve around them yet?

3. This one is technically specific. People who can't grasp the concept of High Definition. This is really easy. High Defiition has either 720 or 1080 lines of resolution. As such, for a High Definition TV to be playing a High Definition picture, the input, surprise, surprise, must be High Definition. Everyone who looks at high definition are told that by every Home Theatre rep in the store. Yet we are blamed after Christmas because many angry customers are awakened to the fact that these televisions don't magically make regular TV High Definition. I wonder how these people who can throw $6000 around for a TV got rich on an education that practically does not stretch beyond the third grade.

I could go on, but I think the point is becoming very clear. One, that most of our customers, left to their own devices, are barely able to swallow their own food, let alone make decisions based on thousands of dollars. Two, that, maybe, the secret of success is to be as stupid as possible. Don't believe me? Just look at Bush. He's the dumbest of them all. And he's the most powerful man in the "free" (though America ain't that free) world.

That is all.
neolithic pondered at 01:48
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