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Sunday, March 19, 2006
Top 10 Reasons Conservatives should become Liberals

Inspired by this post at The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns.

Enjoy! And notice the top ten list is done 10 to 1, a la David Letterman.

10. You can finally stop listening to whiny Country and Western music, and realize that Swing, Jazz, and Rock & Roll are actually accepted art forms. Heck, if you ever get creative, you can play your old Country music backwards, causing your truck to get fixed, your dog to come home and reconciling your relationship with your ex spouse.

9. If you are white, and being Conservative, the odds of that are very high, you will suddenly begin to realize that we're all equal regardless of creed, colour, gender, sexual orientation and the like. Character becomes more of an issue. Stephen Harper suddenly begins to look like a fraud, and you realize you're worse off under his economic plan than you were under Paul Martin's.

8. You realize that weenie eco-cars save you a shitload of money on gas, and instead of wasting your money on gasoline to make Bush and his buddies richer, you pocket your savings and buy a kick-ass home theatre system, so you can brag to your egotistical rich friends that Star Wars looks and sounds just as good at your house as it does in the theatre.

7. You don't have to walk around all day wearing brown shirts and red armbands. Oh wait, that's ten years in the future if the likes of Bush and Harper aren't stopped.

6. For women, you can actually go after your professional dreams without some Neanderthal wearing a wife beater forcing you to stay at home and make his meals and wash his home and clothes.

5. You stop spending $50+ on the night to take the family to see Dukes of Hazzard and the like on the big screen. Instead, you buy the box set of the original television series and watch it on your kick-ass home theatre system, and only spend money at the theatres when something good comes out. Like X-Men: The Last Stand. Not that I worked on it or anything.

4. You can still shoot guns with your Conservative friends. You actually realize there was much more to the theme of Bowling for Columbine than the gun issue. Hi Todd!!

3. Conservatives don't like to think about how other people are, but rather that if those other people become an inconvenience, the Conservatives just go to war against them to end the threat. Once you're a Liberal, you recognize that the sum of the parts is greater than the whole, and try to integrate people with backgrounds different to yours into your communities without compromising their rights.

2. You'll be able to smoke pot guilt free. You begin to realize that cigarettes are more dangerous and addictive, and that alcohol is more of a gateway drug than marijuana is.

1. You're life will have more meaning.

That is all.
neolithic pondered at 19:45
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